Today is the day that flips onto the calendar every year. For about half a decade I dread this day, but year after year I became okay with it, like, I'ved come to terms with it I guess? I don't go to their place anymore, it just didn't seem necessary. If they were still here it would make sense to visit but like, it's not like I can spend time with them anymore so what's the point? I come around to their place sometimes, to make sure the flowers are fresh, ya know? I give them a different flower every time, a collection of flowers more likely. They liked floriography, the language of flowers. They liked looking for wildflowers, we'd go to the nearby forest every week to see what was new. It was always the same until it was just me visiting, then it felt like it was a completely different forest, it felt bigger than me, bigger than my house, bigger than the sky itself. I found it harder and harder to go there without them. So for 2 years I stopped, I don't remember even leaving the house. I was scared the forest would find me. I could hear the flowers whisper, speaking their language. I would cry. Because I knew it was them speaking through the flowers. I don't remember what they said, I just remember the aching feeling it gave me knowing they were gone. Knowing they had to talk to me through the flowers, knowing that for here on, that's all I'd ever hear. The whispers stopped when I left the house. It felt like I hadn't left for over a year, when it had only been 2 weeks… My job had been patient with me, but I needed money for food eventually so I had to leave the house. It hurt so much. Like I was leaving them alone. Flowers don't get lonely though, only me. But even then. Loneliness isn't all that bad, it's just the aftermath of being lonely. The guilt of feeling like you should've been here all along. Why did you have to leave? You didn't. But everyone has to leave eventually, you can't stay in the same place forever. So I'll go to the store, by the flowers that mean "Love” and a cake that says "goodbye” I'll throw a farewell party for all the friends that couldn't make it and all the enemies that won't know what to do when I'm gone. I'll be moving soon, did you hear? I think I 've stayed here for too long. I've wanted to leave even before you left. But, well, you know. It's not like I could leave our home. When I realized you would be okay. And it didn't really matter if you didn't check on your flowers, making sure they were still okay. I don't have to check on the forest every day. I don't even have to check on you. You. I will always remember you and maybe morn too. But I'm over grieving, you stopped whispering to me years ago, I stopped crying over you years ago. And that's okay. I'm moving away. I'll come back don't worry. You'll see me again. Please don't cry. I know it's hard it, was hard for me too. A hard decision to make, it felt like if I left I wouldn't remember you. But I will. Moving to Colorado will be the best 2nd best decision I ever made, the 1st was loving you.