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Shannon R.,
Playa Del Rey, CA |
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She's yelling at me for saying something disrespectful.I'm busy staring at the crack in the wall and trying to concentrate on somethingelse. All I can think is, I can't wait to turn 18. I'm moving out. They are waytoo strict.
When she stops screaming for a moment, I jump in and say outloud what I was just thinking. Her face drops. His becomes angry andintimidating. Immediately, I wish I could take it back.
I shouldapologize. Instead, trying to fix the situation but failing miserably, I digmyself a king-size hole. I begin to go on and on about how unfairly I'm treated.I can't stop the stream of mean comments coming from my mouth. I shouldapologize. But I don't. I just keep going. I think, Maybe if I can justify myreasons for feeling this way, what I said would be okay. I am wrong.
Mymom looks so hurt. I hate being the one who hurts her. I begin to realize theseverity of what I said. I can't take it back. For such a long time she hasn'tknown I have been miserable in the house; now I've completely shocked her. But Ididn't mean it.
Next time, I think I'll just keep staring at the crack inthe wall.
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