Ihear the phone ringing, a very loud, high-pitched ring,
A ring that gets toyour very last nerve.
I hear the voice on the other end, usually a harsh,stern voice,
but this time a very soft, quiet voice.
I hear the voicespeak, very softly, very softly.
The words hit me like a ton ofbricks.
They hit me as hard as a bullet would,
And I feel the pain as Iwould if someone had ripped out my still-beating, loving heart.
I sitthere for a few moments, letting the words sink in,
Letting them penetrate mymind.
I go to the hospital, nervous and sweating;
Scared of what I amabout to see, scared of what has happened.
Oh, God! Why is this happening?Why is this happening to me?
I see so many faces staring at me with eyessaying, Sorry,
Saying they feel my pain, but how could they?
I see myfather standing there;
White as a ghost, crying, breathing heavily.
Isee my mother lying there, not white or pale as I thought she would be,
Butrather a tan color against the white sheets.
I see her so peaceful now,not in any pain
Just the peaceful mother I had known.
I feel the tearswell up in my eyes;
they stream down my face, no stopping them now.
Ifeel my body start to shake, my legs feeling as if they are made of jelly;
Myhands shaking uncontrollably.
I feel the warm, comforting hands of myfather, helping me to stand,
Helping me to know everything will beokay.
I feel the hands of all my loved ones;
Telling me it will bealright, telling me they love me.
As I watch them take my mother away, Ithink, this is the last time I will see my mumfy;
The last time I would haveanyone to call my mother.
I sit and think of all the memories of her,
all the good, happy times. Her radiant smile, twinkling eyes.
Butthere are none;
The only memories I have are ones when she was sick andwracked with pain.
I try not to think of my mother like that,
I want tothink of her joyful, free of worries. Not in pain. It's hard.
As I sithere writing this I can't help but cry,
Tears of joy, tears of pain.
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