Divine Madness And The College Application
By Gregory Z., Webster, MA
They all start off the same:
last name, first, finally middle,
address, DOB, and the life history of your parents.
PLEASE PRINT OR TYPE AND MAIL OUT SOON
Waive away your rights.
Where do you go to school?
Cut along the dotted line,
pass out to the only two
teachers left in the entire
world who won't just write you off.
Hope for the best.
And don't forget financial aid.
Then leave it up to tests
that took three hours, lasted ten,
and left you sleeping off the night before.
WHICH COURSES ARE YOU TAKING?
WHAT CLUBS ARE YOU IN?
They say, "Tell us all about you,"
But beg you to be brief.
Talk all about your goals in life,
though you don't know what they are.
How did you spend your summers off?
Just don't tell the truth,
and back up lies with proof.
List jobs you've had, if any.
You begin to leave things blank,
Your brand new pen dries up.
Scream! Next you know,
you've cracked it in two,
thrown it across the room.
Sigh. And now they want a photo, too.
Essays all so similar.
PLACE CHECK HERE AND STAPLE
Sign, seal, and deliver,
to your Guidance Counselor
who you know just doesn't give a hoot
(after all it's basketball season!)
You think about your transcript,
that doesn't tell it all,
how you really are much more
than what the grades report.
It's been a long but fun four years
And you hope it all pays off
As you write in thick green marker on
The "Applied/Accepted" Poster in Main Office
beside your name, below "applied,"
And wait in nerves, forever
Eternally..............................................
Oh God This Is It!!!
You tear apart the envelope,
afraid to look inside.
Your heartisracingpoundingbeating
BREAKINGTHROUGHYOURCHEST
please, Pease, PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
And you read the phrase on top of it all,
CONGRATULATIONS.
WELCOME TO OUR FRESHMAN CLASS.
Tears roll down your cheeks,
Your entire face a grin,
From ear to ear and more.
Then you look around you,
And get serious once again.
"Of course," you say,
"I knew it all along."
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