I Guess You Never Knew Me At Alll. (PREVIEW)
Author's note: (I have written one chapter, but wanted to get feedback, before carrying on)
I had the idea... Show full author's note »
I had the idea... Show full author's note »
Goes To Show.I guess if I could have given myself a bit of advice, so maybe just maybe this all would have been avoided? Would be that I wouldn’t trust anyone. As harsh as that sounds, from what’s happened to me, I wouldn’t say it was. It all started back early last year, when I was still naive and oblivious from what was out there that could hurt me. I was still my bubbly self, thinking that no matter what happens I would still have my best friend Jamie. I met Jamie back in year one, when our mums said
Sometimes it does get iffy being here on my own, but I got used to it over time. To carry on, as I got into the kitchen, to get my breakfast that my dad had prepared for me out the microwave, the fresh smell of coffee and toast hit me like a smack in the face. I like coffee. It’s just recently my mums bought the posh kind, so the smell wasn’t all that nice. Mind you me and my dad stick to the traditional Kenco. I can’t see how you could go wrong with it. I sat down, and consumed some of my dad’s cooking. Which wasn’t to my taste the best standard, but it will do, I appreciate it for him trying. It’s only been recently that my dad’s got into cooking, ever since his work held this cooking competition, dads found his new found passion, and in his words couldn’t believe he hasn’t found it sooner. Mums put it down to mid-life crises. We both agreed to be nice, and see how long this lasts out for. A couple of months before and dad was into motor cycles, and said he’s passionate about fixing them up; we still have a half-finished Harley Davidson out the back.
I finished the half decent cooked eggs and bacon, and proceeded into my room with my coffee. The first thing out of my breakfast that I’m going to enjoy. Due to the fact I made it, but dad bought the coffee? Anyway I went to put my cup down on my desk and found my cat stretched out right across it, so I had to settle for my window shelf. Walking back to my wardrobe I had no clue what to wear. That’s when the doorbell went, I ran to the door in my rubber ducky pj’s and answered the door the same way Sherlock ran to chase the taxi in the film. Jamie was standing there in his baggy jeans and grey hoody that I got him last Christmas. He was in his shades when I don’t have a clue why, seen as it looked like it was going to rain. He had his hair in a spiked up.
“I still have 30 minutes! You can’t moan!” I protested in the best way I could.
“I know, but mum chucked me out, dad had done something to aggravate her, and once again the blame was on me.” He sighed.
“Oh no want a hug?”
“In those pj’s?” he smirked
That’s when it hit me like a train into my face I was still in my pyjamas. In all attempts I smoothly ran back into my room, while doing a 007 role in the middle of my hallway, and landing into the door of my wardrobe. Smooth. I closed my door, and shouted for him to wait in the living room. I realised that I had kind of broken off the door to my wardrobe but it was all cool
as it was only the one. I placed it to the side and proceeded to get dressed went with my black leggings and a nice ripped green shirt, that Jamie had given me last year, and a black hoody that I borrowed from him. I wore my white vans too. I straightened my fringe, to make a better attempt on my bed head, and tied the rest back into a pony tail, going over that with the straighteners. I switched them off, and put them on the mat on my desk. By this point Mr cuddles had moved onto the bed. I grabbed my jack bag and went into the kitchen.
“That’s from the Tim Burton films right?” he said referring to my bag.
“Yeaah it is, I’ll be a sec i’m just getting my lunch okay?”
“Yeah sure, ermm Charlie, do you want to ermm go out maybe I mean that’s if your not busy or anything”
“Like a date? Or……” I said with a cheeky look, thinking nothing would come of it.
“On a date” he said looking straight at me.
“Yeah sure” I smiled, inside I was screaming with pure excitement but I had to remain cool.
I put my lunch in my bag, and walked into the sitting room; he stood up and gave me a look, then walked to the front door.
“Ready?” He said,
“As I will ever be.” I sighed.
As we got to college, we saw that someone had already parked in the space that Jamie usually parks in. We were in a cue, as someone was taking their time, so I looked to the onto the car, a man with a distinctively dark blue suit stepped out. I looked over at Jamie who less than five seconds ago was calm and collective was now aggravated. I noticed that he tightened the grip on the steering wheel. I turned back and noticed that it wasn’t the man that made Jamie tense it was the girl that stepped out after. If I knew that this of all things was going to happen, I wouldn’t have even bothered getting out of bed. You see this isn’t just any girl. This is Kelly Samuels. The nastiest, manipulative girl that you will ever know. She hasn’t always been like this though. She always used to play with me and Jamie when we were little. We were as close as kids we called ourselves the three musketeers. She was lovely and sweet back then I would of never of thought that she would be like what she is now. It all started in year 7. So we would have been about 11/12. When she had placed a letter in my locker, I remember her putting it behind the maths text book that was amongst other textbooks that we had been given.
She also took some items out, like the three bracelets that she had given me in year six. She said that they were friendship bracelets, so I valued them so much not to lose them. So I kept them in my locker while I was in school, so they wouldn’t get lost or stolen or even break. She took out the penguin toy that Jamie had given me at the start of year 7, and told me it was for good luck. Finally she took out the journal that I had. I took it everywhere with me, so I could write down anything if I needed to. So while I was at school I kept it in my locker, and get it after school. This was in case of it falling out my bag, and someone picking it up and reading it. Or me losing it. The reason why I know this is because I had seen her by my locker. She knew the code because we told each other just in case one of us forgot. It was a fault proof plan; well that’s what I thought any way. When she had got home, so posted them on this social networking site called Bloop! It was where you can interact with your friends and play games and stuff. She wrote all my journal out and it turned out that everyone saw it. I found out that she had done it, because Jamie had spotted it out one evening.
She then the next day broke the bracelets and the toy and threw them at my feet as I walked up to her. She never told me the reason to why she done it. It left me feeling like I had done something to her that caused her to get this upset. The fact was that I didn’t, the last time we hung out, I we went shopping, and she saw this guy walking past that we had a giggle about because of his choice of clothes. We were typical young teenagers. I deleted my account off of Bloop! I also swore to myself that I would never go on this site or any others again. My journals now I leave at home. Her parents then moved her to summer set, as they bought a new home, so they left within a week. Jamie said he didn’t know why she done it, but what makes it worse was that I still don’t know to this day, where the journal is! I don’t know if she threw it away or if she still has it. Eventually the queue moved so Jamie parked five cars up. As he parked he took off his seat belt and just sat there. Same as me. The question rose up why was she back? It then hit me that the man in the dark blue suit was her dad. If I had the slightest hint that this of all things would happen to mwouldd of stayed at home.
“Why?” was the only thing I said to break the silence.
“Don’t ask me, the ice…” he stopped himself then got out and went into to school.
Weird I thought what he was going to say. I never really knew why Jamie didn’t keep in contact with her; I mean she didn’t do anything to him. I’m not the type of person that would stop their friendship from continuing just because mine with Kelly’s had ended. I just sat in the car for a bit longer to collect and calm myself, when I hear buzzing from a phone. It wasn’t mine and I realised that it was coming from his chair. Jamie had left a phone in the car. I knew it wasn’t his, because it was pink, and in the display picture was a girl. It was no one other than the ice queen herself. Miss Kelly Samuels. I could of said there and went through her phone, I could of destroyed her and break her done from the inside bit by bit, which is the same way she had destroyed me. I stopped myself, and just sat back. What was I doing? It had been 5 years since this all happened.
I grabbed the phone with intentions of giving it back to her. I got out the car and got my bag from the boot. I started walking when I saw Kelly talking to Jamie, but not in the type of way ‘oh I haven’t seen you in long!’ or ‘Heey….’ It was more of like a couple type way. Which was strange, but I decided not to think too much into it, and walked towards them. Kelly linked her hand into Jamie’s and they walked in. So I changed course and walked towards her dad.
“Mr Samuels, I think this is Kelly’s phone. It was left in Jamie’s truck. I thought I should give it to you.”
I passed the phone to him, as it was clear he had no clue what to say, I walked into school and into form.
“I’ll sign you in Charlie; do you want to go to the library again? I know how you like your books Mrs Berry laughed
“Thank you and yeah please” I smiled and walked out and headed towards the library, as I sat down I looked at my time table and saw that it was a free day, I had no lessons. I put my planner back into my bag and headed back into form, by this point all my form was in, me and Jamie sit at the desk at the front, we always have done. I walked in and looked and saw Jamie and Kelly sitting down, laughing like old times, when she leaned and they kissed! In school! Mrs Berry told them, and carried on talking to Stuart who obviously was talking to her about last night’s Sherlock! He was a nice kid, but he was too much for me. Nice personality but he had so much energy it just drained me out talking to him. Jamie sat back and froze, as he saw me. I kept my head down and walked towards Mrs.
“Charlie what’s the matter?” Mrs asked obviously seeing the awkward atmosphere that had hit the room like a train crash.
“I have no lessons today Mrs., can I take home study?”
“You do what you need to. Before you go I got a book to give you which I think you may enjoy. She left the room and went into the one opposite to get the book.
“Want me to give you a lift back?” Jamie asked
“What do you mean a lift back?, hello i’m here? Your girlfriend?” Each word hit me like someone was stabbing me in the back, I just stood there and took it, unsure of how to react.
Kelly started to laugh as it hit her “Oh she doesn’t know? I thought you guys wouldn’t be talking either you know since he did that thing”
“What thing?” I spat out.
“He’s the one that wrote the journal online silly, I gave it to him. You were getting too much for us, we didn’t want to talk to you, and thought coming here would be better, but once we found out your mum put you in the same school we didn’t know what to do. You’re childish Charlie. Look at the clothes your wearing, and I know that hoody aint yours. Why don’t you ask your mum to buy you some more? So you don’t have to borrow some.” This actually felt like in that moment in time, a black hole had some how filled the room and swallowed me up. At that moment I decided not to react. Not to yell. Stand there and take it seemed to be the only option at that moment in time. I looked at Jamie and his face said it all, he seemed half in shock and half in panic. At that moment Mrs Berry came back.
“Here’s the book Charlie… Give it a try.” She tried emphasising the last part of her sentence. She did it with a smile.
It was apparent she had no clue about what had just happened. Everyone else does though. That’s when Stuart stood up and said “Sherlock never makes the same mistake twice.” It was clear that he was aiming at giving me some advice, and it was sweet of him to try. I smiled at him as if to say thank you, and walked back out. Go clear your head I thought.
For the next couple of days Jamie had tried ringing me, texting me and even tried coming over to my house a couple of times, but I never came to the door. One day he knocked at the door again, and this time my mum answered. At first I wasn’t going to do anything. Just carry one and watch the TV show.
“Charlie its Jamie” mum called.
I just turned the telly up louder. I will give this to Jamie though he did wait a good ten minutes, then my TV show ended to I went to leave the sitting room.
“Charlie talk to me!” he pleaded as I came into his eye shot.
“And say what?” I replied
“I….. “ he was speechless. It was clear that he was unsure of what to say.
“Exactly you should of told me from the start then I wouldn’t of been a bother!” there was a pause that I felt lasted a life time. “Why act like you care? Why” towards the end I felt myself getting angrier and angrier so I decided to leave it as it is.
“Charlie whats going on?”
“Nothing” I turned back to Jamie.
It was clear that no one could really say anymore, and he knew that the only thing that would be best was for him to go. I didn’t want him to, however ruthless I was being I wanted him to fight back. Fight for me. He left saying no more, once the door had closed mum asked the same question at least five times. I just came out with the same response. Nothing. Something in me stopped me, the feeling of telling them, and letting them know, that their daughter was apparently a clingy loser wasn’t the best feeling in the world. It was clear that mum couldn’t see that Jamie couldn’t do wrong, as he was the golden boy in my mum’s eyes. It’s understandable as she has only seen one side, and so had I up to now.
“My journal….” I began
“But Charlie that happened years ago hunny why bring it back up now?” my dad asked
“The bracelets, the toy” I said as I felt to cry. “Kelly’s now back she told me why. Even how she felt. She even told me that Jamie did the journal.”
“He did what?” mum asked
“He posted it online.” I choked back the tears and decided to carry on. “She told me that they didn’t like me, even as far as the fact towards the end of year 6 they thought that secondary school would be better, becauswoulddn’t be there, but when you got me a place there, they didn’t like it. They said that I was a bother to them.” I could see the look of disbelief in their eyes as I was telling them.
They tried to say something but it was clear that they were speechless. It was one of the situations where you could say that this is where your parents would go and say that it wouldn’t be such an issue when you’re older. You’ll learn to deal with it. I didn’t see it, but because I didn’t have many friends, it used to be just me and Jamie when Kelly had gone. That he isolated me from other people. Wouldn’t like it if I got talking to someone else. He made me this way so when this happens that I wouldn’t be okay, I would be more distressed and more hurt. The only question that came into my mind now was what do I do now? What next?
I walked into my room, and picked up my school bag that I had put in my cupboard from a couple of days a go, and got out the book that Mrs Berry had given me. There was a sticky note on top reading:
Keep this with you,
You’ll soon realise that it will become a close friend.
It’s like she knew this was going to happen. She knew that happened as my mum rang in furious when the whole Kelly thing kicked in. I brushed off the not on the bed, and saw that it was a5 sized and thick, it was like blue with white flower patterns. With a white strap holding the book. With a box at the top, I wrote in “Sherlock never made the same mistake twice”. What Stuart said seemed to stick, so I wrote it in. When I opened it, Mrs Berry had already written in “Your world will start when the pen touches the paper”. I appreciated the gesture that Mrs Berry had given me. I really did.