Water Love

Water love? What is water love? Well, I'm glad you asked. Water love is the same as loving something else, except it's loving water. You might think I'm crazy and I need to be in a padded room, or you might just think I'm plain stupid. Truth is, I really don't care because the more words you read, the more you'll die to know what comes next; so I'll just continue. Water is the most beautiful and natural thing on earth. How can you love something that doesn't benefit you? See that's where you're wrong, it keeps me healthy when I drink it and it keeps me clean when I shower with it. Maybe if you drunk more of it, you wouldn't have all that acne. If you took more showers with it, you wouldn't smell like 20-year-old garbage. How can you love something that can't travel with you? Oh my gosh, another dumb question I have to answer. That's what bottles and cups are for, to take my precious water with me so we'll never part. Plus, I don't have to worry about it cheating on me because I know where it is at all times; in my body, in my bathroom, and in my kitchen. And when I get mad, I can sling it across the sky and onto the ground without hearing its mouth. Now do you see how water love works? I'm glad I could inform you. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, water proposed to me on December 31, 2010 at the Georgia Aquarium. We'll be getting married this year on its mother's birthday, April 22- earth day! Everyone is invited, even the haters... haters can't eat cake though.