Get Our
Print Magazine

48 pages of creative bliss. Written by teens for teens since 1989.
Subscribe!
See us on Facebook,
MySpace & Twitter
   
Home > All Fiction > Sunday

Sunday This piece has been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.

Rate this article:
By Rachel B., Parker, CO
The day is half gone by the time I’ve pried myself from between the couch cushions, eyes glazed from a second-rate police drama marathon, a hopelessly mangled rat’s nest protruding from the back of my head.
Photo credit: Christina G., Bedford, NH
Days like this used to be what I lived for. Days like this used to be an invitation to drag my entire bedspread down to the living-room sofa. Days like this meant “Tom and Jerry” and newspaper comics printed in color. Days like this meant eating popsicles until I felt ill. But then we got a new denim sofa, and Mom stopped buying the grape-flavored Tylenol that came in little chewable tablets, and cable television became a thing of the past.

It feels like something even bigger has changed.

The dormancy of my muscles makes them heavy, each ounce of potential sticking and hardening and weighing down on my bones like drying cement. The thick void made by this lack of motivation makes the air seem too dense to inhale, and anything I attempt to accomplish quickly ­becomes wasted energy. I find myself loathing the desolation of a lifeless room, where the phone only rings when some jerk is trying to auction off substandard timeshares in Aspen in exchange for a portion of my soul.

I swear can hear my pulse.

Having the house to myself is rare – almost unheard of: it’s basically an illusion. But of course when I least appreciate it, I find myself deserted. Mom, whose panic attacks come and go with the weather, decided this snowstorm was the perfect opportunity to get the holiday shopping done. Dad crawled up from his basement lair and made the executive decision to go back to the office to contaminate his coworkers with whatever infectious disease has had him hacking and wheezing for the past two weeks. My parents must sense a feeble frequency of self-pity emanating from my pitiful corpse, a vibe assuring them that no one could possibly want to come within a 25-foot radius of their spawn today and they can be safe leaving her alone with a spare set of house keys and a liquor cabinet.

But I can’t stay here.

I blink and I am at the coat closet, pulling on my parka. I yank the hood over my head and borrow whoever’s boots are sitting in the puddle by the front window. I even lock the door, because for some reason, I don’t think I’ll be coming back anytime soon.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.This piece has also been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.

Join the Discussion


This article has 18 comments. Post your own!

Wimerh said...
Oct. 15 at 10:11 pm:

This story was interesting! I like how you build up the suspense for almost the entire story while the reader tries to figure out what will happen. I think the climax, the line " But I can't stay here" is clever because it doesn't give the reader to much information and it leaves them guessing. Also, I like how the last line of the poem is a "cliff-hanger" and the reader can use imagination to make the story what they think it will be. There are great descriptive d... (more »)

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
jcvit_house said...
Jun. 25 at 5:00 pm:

I thought this was really good. i liked the use of details... i think though a slight decrease of details may help the story move a little faster... details hook you plots keep you!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
jbradford96 said...
Jun. 25 at 3:43 am:

I really enjoyed this. The details provided are easily relatable, yet there aren't an overwhelming number of them. I like how you insinuated growing up through the reference to the grape flavored Tylenol. The ending was nice because the reader can imagine a wide variety of continuations. Keep writing, you've got a gift for it.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Abigail_W said...
Jun. 24 at 2:52 pm:

I remember reading this on TeenInk Raw a while ago and thinking, "Whoa, this has gotta get published." And here it is, published. I wish I could write like that. It just left me wanting to know more, where she went, and everything! great job and keep it up.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
sallyloco said...
Jun. 20 at 3:47 am:

i loved it.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
katiemiladie said...
Jun. 18 at 4:21 am:

It was good. However, down-grading is the name of the game. The story was great but I would have been more interested if there were less adjectives I would have been more intrigued. Now, I'm not saying to eliminate them from your story. Just use less and you've got a winner!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Andrew K. said...
Jun. 8 at 2:26 am:

Wow! At first I was hesitant but by the end I was totally absorbed. You have to keep writing!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Griffinwing said...
May 21 at 11:28 pm:

You're right it is like Speak! Continue please, I'm begging. I want to know her name and everything!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
xcupcakesxbrokenheartx said...
May 5 at 4:15 am:

Wow. That is really just too good. It reminds me of Speak.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Firefly said...
May 4 at 9:49 pm:

i realy wish it was longer. it was a great read though it culd b more discriptive

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
cocoa.cars said...
May 4 at 9:43 pm:

hhmmm, interesting! u are going to continue right? cuz it juts woulndt be fair of you to leave us hanging like this. where is she going to go?

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
jmc.13 said...
May 4 at 7:53 pm:

REALLY GREAT! i don't know what they're saying; i liked how it ended, the suspense there isn't random, the point is to leave you guessing and it totally worked!
AMAZING

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
luvtwilight said...
Apr. 7 at 8:46 pm:

wish it was longer. it was sooo true.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Melinda L. said...
Mar. 21 at 1:54 am:

Oh my god! What's going to happen? I really loved this and hope you keep writing.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
bre said...
Mar. 19 at 9:24 pm:

I love the story. It has a grat amount of supence.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Schroederman said...
Mar. 4 at 3:27 pm:

this is a very good story but i wonder what she was going to do

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
lovelyink98 said...
Mar. 3 at 4:54 am:

wow! this story really had me hooked. I LOVE the way the author described things so vividly without beign too descriptive!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
epeters said...
Feb. 26 at 4:59 am:

Wow. This is one of those stories that you wish that you had written them. I've read a couple on here and this one made me rethink. I like the title also.

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment