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What You Said
You say you love me; who told you I want your love? Love fades, disappears as lives change and bodies wither. Do not lure with your false promises; do not think to leave me freezing when you take away your warmth. You say you love me, I don’t believe you. Go back to your Juliet, Romeo, your love is not wanted here.
You say you’ll protect me; what makes you think I need protecting? I’m strong enough to protect myself. You cannot face the monsters I fight. You cannot take my strength from me, now or ever. Take your silver swords and go home, paper knight. I do not need your protection.
You say you’ll educate me, show me a new way of living. What makes you think I have anything to learn from you? I already know everything you could possibly teach me. Take your school books and go home, greasy teacher. I have no need for your lessons.
You say you’ll take care of me; what makes you think I cannot take care of myself?
You say you can heal me; who says I am broken?
You say you’ll complete me; who says I am not already whole?
You say you can give me the world; who says I cannot get it myself? What makes you think I do not already have it?
You say you’ll help me; why do you think I want your help?
You say you can define me, and I laugh, knowing you never can.
You try to pin me in place, describe me in single words. You laugh, thinking you have done it, while inside I am bleeding from the pieces you have tried to cut away from me. You do not know me; do not try. You see what I want you to see, never past the surface. I am the world’s best actress, best liar; every day is a new performance. You say you like me, love me, but how can you if you do not know me? You love my body, my words, never my soul. You lie without knowing it, every word from your lips a knife to hurt me, and with every strike I smile wider, prettier than ever, because I can. I am strong enough, brave enough, smart enough to survive and live unbroken.
Do not tell me who I am, sir. I will walk away from you, every time, and never look back.
You say you’ll hurt me, leave me, accuse and abuse me, make me cry and break me in half. You say you’re not perfect, that you’re a liar. You say I’m beautiful and brave and determined, and I laugh, thinking you’re flattering me. And you are, with the most serious look on your face. You kiss me, and I let you. One little kiss, just an ordinary kiss, but it feels like the first time, warmth shooting through me and pulling you closer, wanting more. You break away first, and I’m crying, all your promises kept. You hold me close and whisper in my ear. I laugh through the tears.
“I love you.” I believe you.
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