It hurt. I was numb and sore, but still it hurt. My face, wet with tears that I never ran out of. The pillowcase was damp with my sweat. My whole body ached in protest. My wrists were red with marks of my struggle. I lay there, unable to move. I heard the front door close, but I didn't get up. I wanted to, but I honestly couldn't. I tried to call out, but my voice was hoarse from the screams that escaped my lungs every night. The only thing I could do was cry. I tried ignoring the pain, and I felt myself falling asleep.
I never slept for long. Fear and pain kept me awake.
The footsteps woke me again, just before they walked in. The bedroom door was open, so I saw them. She barely glanced at me before going to the kitchen. How could she stand it? If I was her, I wouldn't tolerate this. Sometimes I think that she doesn't have a heart.
He followed her and grabbed a glass of water. He came and sat down beside me, making me cringe as he reached out.
"I won't hurt you." He whispered and helped me sit up.
But you do hurt me, I thought as I leant on the pillows he propped up, because I didn't have any strength.
He then gave me my food, water. They didn't feed me much. They just gave me water and bread. Sometimes, if they were feeling human enough that day, they would give me normal food. He sighed and asked me how I was feeling. His voice made me wince as it brought back memories which stabbed me with fresh pain.
How could he ask me such a thing? I didn't reply. Like everyday, I sat there, silently begging myself to just die already. I begged God to let me die, to let them kill me. At first, I did ask them to kill me. They were too human to do that.
She came and stood there leaning against the door frame.
He pushed back my hair and kissed my head before standing up. He whispered something to her and he went out of the room. She stood there for a while before coming and taking his place beside me. She looked at me once, and I knew that she was scared. She was close to tears, but I also knew that she wouldn't cry. She was too tough for that. She asked me if I needed anything and if I could speak now. I shook my head, refusing to reply. She took my hand and we just sat there silently.
He came back after a while. She sighed as she stood up and left me. I knew she was going out, because she didn't want to disturb us. But she was deserting me, leaving me to suffer. She closed the door behind her, and he put his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I forgot all the pain, just for the moment.
I knew nothing was okay, but I needed these moments. I wanted to die, but I did not want to leave him behind, or her. My days were spent hating them for everything, but loving them along the way. I was being torn apart in two. But I knew that I wouldn't survive for any longer. My body was getting weaker everyday. I kept thinking that I would be happier if I died, because then I wouldn't be in any pain. But the truth was I knew I would be in pain. I would be leaving them behind, these cruel beings, and the thought of it hurts me more.
He pulled me closer and whispered my favorite song to me. Despite everything, I smiled.
"I'm sorry, Nikki. I am." He said to me when he finished his song. I stopped smiling and opened my eyes.
I wasn't going to tell him it was okay, because it wasn't. He should know that by now. I let go and turned my face away from him. He had got what he wanted, so I don't think he was sorry.
He turned my face around and kissed me. I kissed him back, because I missed him. I missed the real him. He held me while I cried.
She didn't come back and it was getting late. I wondered if I was going to die that night. He looked at me and said he was sorry. I didn't believe it at all. He left me after a while and I knew I was alone in the apartment.
Three hours went, and I heard someone come in through the front door. I hoped it was her. If she was here before he came, I still had hope.
No. It wasn't her. He was back. And he was drunk. I burst into tears when I saw that.
The night had come, and with it, the torture began again.
I never slept for long. Fear and pain kept me awake.
The footsteps woke me again, just before they walked in. The bedroom door was open, so I saw them. She barely glanced at me before going to the kitchen. How could she stand it? If I was her, I wouldn't tolerate this. Sometimes I think that she doesn't have a heart.
He followed her and grabbed a glass of water. He came and sat down beside me, making me cringe as he reached out.
"I won't hurt you." He whispered and helped me sit up.
But you do hurt me, I thought as I leant on the pillows he propped up, because I didn't have any strength.
He then gave me my food, water. They didn't feed me much. They just gave me water and bread. Sometimes, if they were feeling human enough that day, they would give me normal food. He sighed and asked me how I was feeling. His voice made me wince as it brought back memories which stabbed me with fresh pain.
How could he ask me such a thing? I didn't reply. Like everyday, I sat there, silently begging myself to just die already. I begged God to let me die, to let them kill me. At first, I did ask them to kill me. They were too human to do that.
She came and stood there leaning against the door frame.
He pushed back my hair and kissed my head before standing up. He whispered something to her and he went out of the room. She stood there for a while before coming and taking his place beside me. She looked at me once, and I knew that she was scared. She was close to tears, but I also knew that she wouldn't cry. She was too tough for that. She asked me if I needed anything and if I could speak now. I shook my head, refusing to reply. She took my hand and we just sat there silently.
He came back after a while. She sighed as she stood up and left me. I knew she was going out, because she didn't want to disturb us. But she was deserting me, leaving me to suffer. She closed the door behind her, and he put his arm around me. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I forgot all the pain, just for the moment.
I knew nothing was okay, but I needed these moments. I wanted to die, but I did not want to leave him behind, or her. My days were spent hating them for everything, but loving them along the way. I was being torn apart in two. But I knew that I wouldn't survive for any longer. My body was getting weaker everyday. I kept thinking that I would be happier if I died, because then I wouldn't be in any pain. But the truth was I knew I would be in pain. I would be leaving them behind, these cruel beings, and the thought of it hurts me more.
He pulled me closer and whispered my favorite song to me. Despite everything, I smiled.
"I'm sorry, Nikki. I am." He said to me when he finished his song. I stopped smiling and opened my eyes.
I wasn't going to tell him it was okay, because it wasn't. He should know that by now. I let go and turned my face away from him. He had got what he wanted, so I don't think he was sorry.
He turned my face around and kissed me. I kissed him back, because I missed him. I missed the real him. He held me while I cried.
She didn't come back and it was getting late. I wondered if I was going to die that night. He looked at me and said he was sorry. I didn't believe it at all. He left me after a while and I knew I was alone in the apartment.
Three hours went, and I heard someone come in through the front door. I hoped it was her. If she was here before he came, I still had hope.
No. It wasn't her. He was back. And he was drunk. I burst into tears when I saw that.
The night had come, and with it, the torture began again.
Pumpkinscout
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