The Art of Not Being an Engineer

I like math. Especially geometry. It's like brain-candy, or so I have coined it. There's just something about it that tugs at the back of my mind before I drift off to sleep--some regular hexagon that calls out from its hiding place, "Solve me! You know how! A=1/2 of Pa!" It's irresistible.

I also like chemistry. Silly little d electron configuration mocking me relentlessly. Fluorine always being such a pig. And everything always making sense, fitting into the puzzle. It amazes me every time. I make references to p-block whenever we form a six-man marching arrangement in band. Everyone but the freshmen giggle.

I don't like English very much. But I do. I wish I had the freedom to write whenever I wanted and whatever I wanted. But that's typical. I imagine almost every writer for Teen Ink thinks similarly. Most of us are halfway decent at writing. We just don't want to be commanded to do so.

I like music. A lot. I love the feeling of fiery fingers dancing across the cold silver metal of my flute. Across the dead ink blots of the page before me. Making the world slow to a stop, just to listen, yet at the same time animating it.

But I can't be a musician. That is only for my superior. She plays pieces I've never even heard of. Tries out for youth symphonies and gets first chair. I will never be anything more than second best. It's a shame. My heart will always be in it. My soul can be read between the lines of vibrato and articulation. But I cannot be a musician.

I won't ever be a writer either. I just can't see myself typing out word after word for the rest of my life. With a career such as that, I'd be susceptible to random escapades to Europe to 'sort out my life'. Sounds too much like a movie plot. That just won't do.

Neither will I see much more of chemistry in the coming years. It makes me smile, but I'll leave that area to those who want it. Those willing to put their back into it. For me, it's just something to play around in for a semester. Something I just happen to be good at.

The same goes for math. Leave it for the Japanese kids with their 'Tiger Moms'. I live in a town of engineers, born to a pair of engineers. I go to a school of mini-engineers in line to graduate and go to work for the same mega-company their parents work for. The last thing I want to do is become one myself.

So I think I'll go into film. I enjoy editing and cinematography. It may not make me as much money as being an engineer or something else of that sort would. It could also make me a millionaire. But that's not the point. The point is that I can see myself there. I can see it. And that's all I will ever really need.