Skipping through the doors of the church, I was content. I’d had a long night and a very lazy day up until band practice. Emily and I had stayed up until three at her house the night before, gorging ourselves on pizza and watching the first Pretty Little Liars season on Netflix. Then when we finally woke up in the morning, I went home to eat even more pizza, watch more mindless television shows and get in a few hours of World of Warcraft.
I got so involved killing undead zombies that I almost forgot about band practice until my friend, Shane, called reminding me to come early. Apparently, he needed to talk to me about something. I’d grabbed my purse and blasted some Rocket to the Moon before biking the five blocks to Springfield Fellowship. Yea, almost seventeen and no license, but I had promised my friends I’d get one soon.
Arriving in the lobby of the church about half an hour early, I wasn’t shocked to see that no one was on the stage. The only people who’d be here now would be Shane and his cousin, Jacob, who happened to be my ex-boyfriend. We’d broken up over two years ago and it’d been bad. I didn’t take it well at all and even at this point wasn’t sure how to act around him. We’d grown into a comfortable bickering and teasing relationship. Friends, yet not exactly friends.
Not sure where Shane would be, I hurried up to the sound room. Seemed a reasonable place for him to be, considering he was the lead guitarist and bandleader. However, when I came through the door all I saw was Jacob, playing Angry Birds and looking bored. It was probably a little too quiet for him, being a drummer.
“Ugh it’s you,” he teased.
“You’re not a much prettier sight,” I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him.
“Why are you even here so early?” He rolled his eyes. “Does your lover want you?”
“Not funny,” I said, blushing. Jacob had accurately guessed that I’d had a crush on Shane for a few weeks, and wouldn’t let me forget it. “He wanted to talk to me.”
“Sure,” he snickered. “’Talk’ is what you’re gonna do.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I laughed, thumping him on the head. “Catch you later, loser.”
“If I feel like it,” he joked as I walked down the stairs to hunt for Shane. My next guess was the kid’s room. There was a Wii set up in there and I figured he might be playing Guitar Hero or something. In the back of my mind there was a little hope that maybe this would be THE talk. Perhaps he’d say he shared my feelings.
“Oh hey, you’re here,” he smiled as I came through the door.
“Yep,” I grinned, “You got me curious and what we’re talking about.”
He laughed slowly. “Come sit here,” he said kindly, patting the seat beside him.
“Kay,” I smiled coming to his side. “Is this something to do with band?”
“Not exactly…” he started. “I’ve been hearing some rumors about you…”
I blushed like crazy and swished my blonde hair over my cheek for cover. “Um, what kind of rumors?”
“That you… well that you might kind of like me.”
I took a deep breath. Just a few seconds of bravery, Samantha, I reminded myself mentally. It could pay out in the end.
Exhaling slowly, I whispered, “I kind of do like you.” Breathe girl, breathe, I thought, panicky. He grabbed my chin softly and pulled it upward so my eyes met his.
“I might kind of like you too,” He smiled, and he kissed me. I felt like I was melting away, the world was a happy place and I was the happiest one in it. This was a dream come true. Me, dating a hot senior… and a musician. What were the odds?
We kissed for a long time, longer than I expected. He slowly touched his tongue to my lips and a make-out began. I was a little startled, but reminded myself that it was nothing I hadn’t done with Jacob in the past. However, when I was just starting to be comfortable with it, his hand slid down to my pant buttons and began undoing them. I started to push him away.
“Shane, please don’t.” I said shakily.
“It’s okay,” His voice was calm yet with an edge of something else. Power. He sounded like he was in total control, no longer the sweet guy I’d met in here a few minutes ago. He began pushing me down.
“No, really… please get off of me.” I gasped starting to panic. He held me down to where I couldn’t get up.
“Shane! I said get off!” His hand flew up over my mouth.
“Shut up.” He said firmly.
I started trying to scream for help but it was useless with him covering my mouth. I kicked and squirmed and even tried to bite him, but nothing would make him stop. Eventually, I just shut down, letting a few tears out and waiting for it all to be over. I’d never felt so hopeless, weak, and ashamed. How could this even happen in a church? It felt like an eternity before he stopped, slowly starting to get up.
He smiled darkly and whispered, “Feel better?”
Church or not, I replied with what any sensible girl would, calling him a not-very-nice word and punching him in the nose. He stumbled backwards, stunned, and I took the opportunity to run.
I wasn’t sure where I was running to. I just ran. Away from him. Away from what had happened. Away from the innocence I had forever lost. Tears streaked across my face taking my makeup away as I sprinted through the hallways. How could this have happened to me? I thought ashamedly. Everything was so perfect… how could I have known…
In mid-stride, I ran right into Jacob, nearly knocking him over.
“Watch where you’re- Oh my gosh… what happened?” He asked, horrified. I could feel the shock that must’ve been on his face, although I wouldn’t meet his eyes. I looked like a mess.
“You’re shaking… what did… did he do something?”
Not knowing what to do, I fell into his arms and let all my tears out. I was too shaky to stand, so we sank to the floor in the softly lit hallway with his arms still around me. I sobbed and hyperventilated into his shoulder hysterically. “He… he…” I choked, trying to get it out between gasps of breath.
"He raped me…” I whispered, closing my eyes and seeing the whole awful thing over again. I prayed silently that Jacob would believe me, even with it being his own cousin.
Jacob froze, tightening his arms around me. “Please explain.” He whispered back, gritting his teeth. I choked out as much as the story as I could, although most parts would simply make me start crying again.
“It was so horrible Jacob… I feel so… dirty,” I sobbed some more into his arms.
“It was not YOUR fault,” he said firmly, willing me to believe it. “And he’s gonna pay for this. I promise you, he will not get away with doing this.”
“I don’t know how to tell anyone else…” I cried softly. “What would my Mom think?”
“I’ll stay with you while you tell her,” Jacob said kindly. I slowly looked up at him, even knowing how my face must’ve looked. His usually teasing eyes were caring and tender.
“Thank you, Jakey,” I said, falling back into his chest with an old pet name from our dating times.
“What a sentiment,” someone snarled behind us. Recognizing the voice, I shrunk further into Jacobs arms. He tightened them around me.
“You don’t actually believe her pathetic little story, do you cuz?” Shane sneered. “Here, let me talk her out of spreading lies like this.” He put a hand around my waist and started to pull. I whimpered, terrified and Jacob smacked his hand away.
“Don’t even think about touching her.” Jacob growled at him. “And you’re no ‘cuz’ of mine.”
“Whatever.” Shane said, rolling his eyes. “It’s my word against hers, and I’m a pastor’s kid. Who are people going to believe?” I heard his footsteps walking away and I sighed into Jacob’s chest.
“He’s right,” I said hopelessly. “Who’s going to believe me?”
“Everyone will.” He gasped as if he remembered something important. “Ever watched Criminal Minds? A rape kit! If you go to a doctor they’ll be able to tell. I promise he will pay for this, and I’ll be with you every step of the way… except the part when they’re um… examining you I guess,” he laughed softly.
I let out a relieved sigh, not stable enough to laugh yet. “Glad he doesn’t know about that. And Jacob? Thank you… you’re a really amazing guy, you know? Thanks for protecting me,”
“I would never let something happen to you,” He smiled gently, holding me closer. “Want to know something?”
“What?” I said curiously, looking up into his warm brown eyes.
“I never really got over you. The teasing… it was all to cover up. I never stopped having feelings for you. I can barely remember why we broke up… Didn’t I like some other girl? It was so stupid of me… I had the most amazing girl right there with me and I let her go. I promise, if you don’t want me to, I’ll never let you go again. I’ll protect you forever and always.”
“Jacob…” I started, crying again but not out of sadness. “I’ve felt the same way for so long… But everything’s so confusing right now. I need to get through this whole thing before getting into something else.”
“Of course, Sammy,” He said, resting his head on mine. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, and I’ll be helping you through this. If we’re successful… my cousin will go to jail… but it’s for the best. He just can’t do this to anyone else. We’ll get through it together.”
“I trust you,” I whispered, the last of my tears leaving my eyes.
We sat there and waited, until the other band members showed up. I was still too shaky to walk but Jacob carried me to Kara’s mom’s car and explained that I needed to go home right away. The ride there we sat silently, his arm never leaving my shoulders, and my head never leaving his chest. He slipped his other hand into mine and I smiled for the first time since before the incident. We both knew the next few months would be hard, but what would get me through would be knowing that the worst day of my life, would double as the day the best thing in the world began again. Me and Jacob <3
I got so involved killing undead zombies that I almost forgot about band practice until my friend, Shane, called reminding me to come early. Apparently, he needed to talk to me about something. I’d grabbed my purse and blasted some Rocket to the Moon before biking the five blocks to Springfield Fellowship. Yea, almost seventeen and no license, but I had promised my friends I’d get one soon.
Arriving in the lobby of the church about half an hour early, I wasn’t shocked to see that no one was on the stage. The only people who’d be here now would be Shane and his cousin, Jacob, who happened to be my ex-boyfriend. We’d broken up over two years ago and it’d been bad. I didn’t take it well at all and even at this point wasn’t sure how to act around him. We’d grown into a comfortable bickering and teasing relationship. Friends, yet not exactly friends.
Not sure where Shane would be, I hurried up to the sound room. Seemed a reasonable place for him to be, considering he was the lead guitarist and bandleader. However, when I came through the door all I saw was Jacob, playing Angry Birds and looking bored. It was probably a little too quiet for him, being a drummer.
“Ugh it’s you,” he teased.
“You’re not a much prettier sight,” I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him.
“Why are you even here so early?” He rolled his eyes. “Does your lover want you?”
“Not funny,” I said, blushing. Jacob had accurately guessed that I’d had a crush on Shane for a few weeks, and wouldn’t let me forget it. “He wanted to talk to me.”
“Sure,” he snickered. “’Talk’ is what you’re gonna do.”
“Don’t be stupid,” I laughed, thumping him on the head. “Catch you later, loser.”
“If I feel like it,” he joked as I walked down the stairs to hunt for Shane. My next guess was the kid’s room. There was a Wii set up in there and I figured he might be playing Guitar Hero or something. In the back of my mind there was a little hope that maybe this would be THE talk. Perhaps he’d say he shared my feelings.
“Oh hey, you’re here,” he smiled as I came through the door.
“Yep,” I grinned, “You got me curious and what we’re talking about.”
He laughed slowly. “Come sit here,” he said kindly, patting the seat beside him.
“Kay,” I smiled coming to his side. “Is this something to do with band?”
“Not exactly…” he started. “I’ve been hearing some rumors about you…”
I blushed like crazy and swished my blonde hair over my cheek for cover. “Um, what kind of rumors?”
“That you… well that you might kind of like me.”
I took a deep breath. Just a few seconds of bravery, Samantha, I reminded myself mentally. It could pay out in the end.
Exhaling slowly, I whispered, “I kind of do like you.” Breathe girl, breathe, I thought, panicky. He grabbed my chin softly and pulled it upward so my eyes met his.
“I might kind of like you too,” He smiled, and he kissed me. I felt like I was melting away, the world was a happy place and I was the happiest one in it. This was a dream come true. Me, dating a hot senior… and a musician. What were the odds?
We kissed for a long time, longer than I expected. He slowly touched his tongue to my lips and a make-out began. I was a little startled, but reminded myself that it was nothing I hadn’t done with Jacob in the past. However, when I was just starting to be comfortable with it, his hand slid down to my pant buttons and began undoing them. I started to push him away.
“Shane, please don’t.” I said shakily.
“It’s okay,” His voice was calm yet with an edge of something else. Power. He sounded like he was in total control, no longer the sweet guy I’d met in here a few minutes ago. He began pushing me down.
“No, really… please get off of me.” I gasped starting to panic. He held me down to where I couldn’t get up.
“Shane! I said get off!” His hand flew up over my mouth.
“Shut up.” He said firmly.
I started trying to scream for help but it was useless with him covering my mouth. I kicked and squirmed and even tried to bite him, but nothing would make him stop. Eventually, I just shut down, letting a few tears out and waiting for it all to be over. I’d never felt so hopeless, weak, and ashamed. How could this even happen in a church? It felt like an eternity before he stopped, slowly starting to get up.
He smiled darkly and whispered, “Feel better?”
Church or not, I replied with what any sensible girl would, calling him a not-very-nice word and punching him in the nose. He stumbled backwards, stunned, and I took the opportunity to run.
I wasn’t sure where I was running to. I just ran. Away from him. Away from what had happened. Away from the innocence I had forever lost. Tears streaked across my face taking my makeup away as I sprinted through the hallways. How could this have happened to me? I thought ashamedly. Everything was so perfect… how could I have known…
In mid-stride, I ran right into Jacob, nearly knocking him over.
“Watch where you’re- Oh my gosh… what happened?” He asked, horrified. I could feel the shock that must’ve been on his face, although I wouldn’t meet his eyes. I looked like a mess.
“You’re shaking… what did… did he do something?”
Not knowing what to do, I fell into his arms and let all my tears out. I was too shaky to stand, so we sank to the floor in the softly lit hallway with his arms still around me. I sobbed and hyperventilated into his shoulder hysterically. “He… he…” I choked, trying to get it out between gasps of breath.
"He raped me…” I whispered, closing my eyes and seeing the whole awful thing over again. I prayed silently that Jacob would believe me, even with it being his own cousin.
Jacob froze, tightening his arms around me. “Please explain.” He whispered back, gritting his teeth. I choked out as much as the story as I could, although most parts would simply make me start crying again.
“It was so horrible Jacob… I feel so… dirty,” I sobbed some more into his arms.
“It was not YOUR fault,” he said firmly, willing me to believe it. “And he’s gonna pay for this. I promise you, he will not get away with doing this.”
“I don’t know how to tell anyone else…” I cried softly. “What would my Mom think?”
“I’ll stay with you while you tell her,” Jacob said kindly. I slowly looked up at him, even knowing how my face must’ve looked. His usually teasing eyes were caring and tender.
“Thank you, Jakey,” I said, falling back into his chest with an old pet name from our dating times.
“What a sentiment,” someone snarled behind us. Recognizing the voice, I shrunk further into Jacobs arms. He tightened them around me.
“You don’t actually believe her pathetic little story, do you cuz?” Shane sneered. “Here, let me talk her out of spreading lies like this.” He put a hand around my waist and started to pull. I whimpered, terrified and Jacob smacked his hand away.
“Don’t even think about touching her.” Jacob growled at him. “And you’re no ‘cuz’ of mine.”
“Whatever.” Shane said, rolling his eyes. “It’s my word against hers, and I’m a pastor’s kid. Who are people going to believe?” I heard his footsteps walking away and I sighed into Jacob’s chest.
“He’s right,” I said hopelessly. “Who’s going to believe me?”
“Everyone will.” He gasped as if he remembered something important. “Ever watched Criminal Minds? A rape kit! If you go to a doctor they’ll be able to tell. I promise he will pay for this, and I’ll be with you every step of the way… except the part when they’re um… examining you I guess,” he laughed softly.
I let out a relieved sigh, not stable enough to laugh yet. “Glad he doesn’t know about that. And Jacob? Thank you… you’re a really amazing guy, you know? Thanks for protecting me,”
“I would never let something happen to you,” He smiled gently, holding me closer. “Want to know something?”
“What?” I said curiously, looking up into his warm brown eyes.
“I never really got over you. The teasing… it was all to cover up. I never stopped having feelings for you. I can barely remember why we broke up… Didn’t I like some other girl? It was so stupid of me… I had the most amazing girl right there with me and I let her go. I promise, if you don’t want me to, I’ll never let you go again. I’ll protect you forever and always.”
“Jacob…” I started, crying again but not out of sadness. “I’ve felt the same way for so long… But everything’s so confusing right now. I need to get through this whole thing before getting into something else.”
“Of course, Sammy,” He said, resting his head on mine. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready, and I’ll be helping you through this. If we’re successful… my cousin will go to jail… but it’s for the best. He just can’t do this to anyone else. We’ll get through it together.”
“I trust you,” I whispered, the last of my tears leaving my eyes.
We sat there and waited, until the other band members showed up. I was still too shaky to walk but Jacob carried me to Kara’s mom’s car and explained that I needed to go home right away. The ride there we sat silently, his arm never leaving my shoulders, and my head never leaving his chest. He slipped his other hand into mine and I smiled for the first time since before the incident. We both knew the next few months would be hard, but what would get me through would be knowing that the worst day of my life, would double as the day the best thing in the world began again. Me and Jacob <3
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