Snow crunches under her worn boots as she trudges along. The occasional street lamp throws weak splotches of light along the empty roads, but her eyes are well-accustomed to the dark. The world is quiet at this time, and an almost peaceful sense of aloneness fills her.

But she is not alone.

She clutches the bundle tighter to her chest and shifts her woolen coat to shield the bundle from icy winds. The bundle of child – the infant boy, is as silent as the city, lost in sleep. One tendril of curly black hair, a reflection of her own, peeks out of the swatch of blankets. The woman tucks it back in gingerly, as if to not wake the child. He slumbers on, unaware, content.

She tries not to think about the reason for her actions. Thinking sends a lance of pain through her heart, like a shard of glass, and she stops for a moment, blinking back tears. She allows herself a minute to wallow, to mourn her losses. She wishes for a brief moment that the child would open his eyes so she could have a final glimpse of their color. Instead, the woman conjures the memory of them, as blue as the ocean, just like his father’s. His eyes too, she will never again see.

Enough, she tells herself firmly and forces her feet forward. The building is in view, and she reluctantly climbs the steps until she is standing in front of the door. It’s time.

She presses her face into his tiny body, inhaling his sweet scent, the one unique to babies. He yawns unconsciously, and the sound of it almost brings her to her knees. Is this the last time she will ever hear it? Is this the last time she will see him and smell him and touch him? Her little boy! How can she even contemplate leaving him? No other human being on earth can ever love him and care for him in the way she does.

But that may not be possible for much longer, and if that’s the case, she must not take any chances. He deserves the best life, and that’s something she can’t give him anymore.

It’s time.

She kisses his forehead and whispers, “My love for you is eternal, even if I am not. Remember that.” And with trembling hands, she places her baby carefully in front of the door to the orphanage, her heart breaking more and more with every movement.

Then she steps back and walks away without looking back.