A Last Goodbye

I’ll never forget her. The way she’d smile at me, the weird way she chewed her gum, how beautiful she is, her amazing voice, and the way she’d say “I love you” and then I’d wrap her in my arms. Valerie. Her name will now fill me with pain instead of happiness.
“Talon.” It wasn’t a question. I stood up, and there she was. She had left the hospital yesterday with only a shallow cut in her stomach from the knife. Self-defense shouldn’t be that painful.
“You’re not mad, are you? You know why I have to do this.” Her voice sounded uncertain.
“I’m not mad. I just wish you had the guts to stand up for yourself.” I said. She blanched.

“Talon, please. I had to tell the cops it was attempted suicide to protect us both. You know my Dad would kill us.” She pleaded.
“Yeah, but that’s no reason to leave town with him. Don’t you see how stupid you’re being?” Valerie’s eyes widened.
The door opened. Her Dad stood there, tapping his foot.
“Ready?” I saw her shrink away, just a little.
“Mmm hmm.” She mumbled. She walked through the lobby and started to open the door.
“Valerie?” I called. She turned to face me again. “I love you.” I saw something change in her eyes.
“Yeah, I bet.” She said, and her voice was filled with venom. Then, Valerie, the only person I cared more about than my parents, walked away with the only person that had a motive to kill her. The door shut with a sound that echoed through the empty lobby. I didn’t realize I was crying until I saw my reflection in the glass.

This may sound ironic to you, but it’s hard to get lost in the woods. I came out here to lose reality, to lose myself, and forget everything that has happened in the past hour. All I keep seeing is the door swinging shut, and hearing her cold voice. “Yeah, I bet.”
I walk around for a while, kicking up leaves and humming the theme to “The Simpsons”. There’s a noise behind me. I whirl around, only to freeze in my tracks.
There’s a doe there, calmly gazing at me. As quiet as I could possibly by, I inched closer and held my hand out. The doe didn’t run, but sniffed at my hand gently. Cool, I thought.
Suddenly she scampered off, leaving me dumbstruck. I hear a loud crack and the forest grew dead silent. Shaking slightly, I walked into a clearing. She lay there, with a red stain blossoming in her fur. The doe lay silent, not moving, not living.
I turned and ran, faster and faster until I came to a place where the trees parted and I could see the sky above me.
“This is the proof I needed.” I whispered to nobody. I looked down at my reflection in the lake next to me. Talon McAllister: the nobody with a great life he didn’t deserve.
“It’s all too good to be true, isn’t it?” I yelled at the sky. “I had everything and you took it from me, Valerie. I loved you, and what did I get in return? A black eye from your father and a ‘Yeah, I bet’ from you.” I had raised my voice to a scream.
“I let you in and you slammed a door in my face. Literally.” I started laughing then, loud, strong, and insane. I don’t know how long I was laughing, when I started sobbing.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I don’t blame you.” I looked at my reflection again. My golden hair glimmered in the water, and my brown eyes were filled with pain. Then, it all came rushing back:
The time I played dress up with Valerie in the mall, the first time I kissed her, the time her father gave her a black eye, and I was filed with so much anger I was practically spitting, the last time I saw her in the hospital and I said “I love you,” as she was leaving, and she answered “Yeah, I bet.”
Valerie. Her name haunted my thoughts, provoking me, waiting for me to snap. I threw my head back and screamed. I sat there, panting. My knees gave and I sank to the ground, my head in my hands.
“Talon.” My head snapped up. It wasn’t her, but my mother.
“I knew you’d be here. You come here a lot, don’t you?” She asked softly. “You miss her.” I didn’t answer, but burst into tears. I felt her arms wrap around me cradling me saying: “Shhh, It’ll be okay. It’s going to be okay.” Repeating, over and over, like a mantra.
“No.” I said, and was surprised to find that my voice was strong. “It won’t be okay…but I’m going to move on. Or at least try to. I have to, otherwise I’ll be stuck with this for the rest of my life. I’m accepting it Mom. She doesn’t love me, and never has.” I felt her suck in her breath.
“Talon, baby, that’s not true.” She whispered. I just shook my head.
“As much as it hurts to think like that, it’s what I needed to tell myself. Otherwise, I’ll just be in this same place.”
Then we both stood and left in Mom’s truck. That’s the day I left Valerie behind. The life I could’ve had with her will haunt me forever. What a pleasant thought.