Matty,
I have written this letter a thousand times, not knowing of what to say to you better yet how to tell you the truth. The truth is that I’m still in love with you nothing could change that every little memory we once shared I remember; texting until dawn holding each other until one of us had to pee and even then we didn’t want to let go.
I remember the day you asked me out very clearly it was father’s day 2009 the night before I stayed at your sister’s place. At that point in time I had never met you I knew your sister and your older brother Lee I knew you were going out with Mikki I must admit I was jealous, your sister told me that she showed you a picture of me and you told her that I was amazingly beautiful not really you called me hot which made me like you even more. When Sarah invited me to go to south bank with you and your family I agreed dad was fine of me missing out on father’s day it never bothered him it was just another reminder that he is no longer twenty one.
When you walked in it was as if the whole world had frozen around me and you were sitting in the arm chair I had claimed weeks before. I was eating Nutella. Before going to south bank we stopped in at your step-fathers parents place they had a hot tub and a pool. Sarah tried to push you into the pool but you took her with you and your mum was screaming “No, No, No!” I was so funny I’m just assuming this but I got the feeling you wouldn’t take your shirt off because I was there I don’t know I could be wrong. South bank was so much fun it was a day I would never forget running around at the pools that bird sound whistle you brought but the moment I remember most is when we were walking back to the car and you told Sarah that you had dumped Mikki, at that persist moment I had gotten butterfly’s so strong they were going to knock me over you didn’t have to say anything for me to know what was coming. I was pulled aside by Lee “Will you go out with Matty?” he asked I really wish you would have asked me out yourself. I tried so hard to get the word ‘yes’ through my lips but all that came out was ‘maybe’ I was truly disappointed in myself.
The ride home was a little awkward but all I could do is smile. Walking home from your place that afternoon gave me some time to think I wanted to spin in circles and scream from the top of my lungs “Matty James asked me out!” I was close to it but I kept it inside. After two days I said yes.
Ha-ha do you remember when you threw a boxing glove at me instead of Bren? I do you kept on saying you’re sorry but I know you wanted to laugh just as much as I was you're dad made you kiss me on both cheeks that night was amazing.
Writing this is bringing up so many memory’s that I will never forget I can’t stop smiling soon I will have tears in my eyes. I remember running to the corner shop in the rain and getting drenched from head to toe on the way back we walked and you asked me if I was wearing a bikini top and I had been wearing it since I had been at your place I thought you were supposed to notice these things.
We went out for one month and a week not long but it didn’t change the fact that I had fallen for you completely. When you inboxed me telling me that it was over I was confused you said you didn’t want to hurt me but you did without realising.
About three or so months later you I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I felt my phone vibrate and once again you didn’t have to say anything for me to know what was going to happen. I asked dad If I could stay the night at your place than waited for you to pick me up, when we were walking to your place Sarah put her arm around mine and said “Matt is going to ask you out” “I know” I replied with a massive grin on my face.
That time round of going out with you was just as amazing as the first. When you asked me if I said yes to you because I felt sorry for you broke me In two, I tried to tell you that I said yes because I wanted to Matty you have no idea how much I wanted you to ask me out you really don’t, but you ruined it by not believing that I truly loved you.
After that I didn’t want to look at you I didn’t want to see your face but then you went out with my best friend which hurt me a lot she didn’t even notice. The amazing thing is you became a brother to me you were there for me when my Mum died you were their when I needed to talk, what happened to that?
Now we don’t even talk no a hi or a hey you moved and I haven’t seen you for a year I miss your hugs I miss your eyes your face I miss you, writing this has made me realise that we were always better as friends it made me realise I don’t love you like a boyfriend I love you like a brother I will always have.
It’s hard to realise it but I now know that I am over you and I want you to talk to me again I want it to be as if nothing changed and we were like brother and sister again. It’s the only thing I will even ask of you.
Love Always Clair
P.s
Don’t forget me
I have written this letter a thousand times, not knowing of what to say to you better yet how to tell you the truth. The truth is that I’m still in love with you nothing could change that every little memory we once shared I remember; texting until dawn holding each other until one of us had to pee and even then we didn’t want to let go.
I remember the day you asked me out very clearly it was father’s day 2009 the night before I stayed at your sister’s place. At that point in time I had never met you I knew your sister and your older brother Lee I knew you were going out with Mikki I must admit I was jealous, your sister told me that she showed you a picture of me and you told her that I was amazingly beautiful not really you called me hot which made me like you even more. When Sarah invited me to go to south bank with you and your family I agreed dad was fine of me missing out on father’s day it never bothered him it was just another reminder that he is no longer twenty one.
When you walked in it was as if the whole world had frozen around me and you were sitting in the arm chair I had claimed weeks before. I was eating Nutella. Before going to south bank we stopped in at your step-fathers parents place they had a hot tub and a pool. Sarah tried to push you into the pool but you took her with you and your mum was screaming “No, No, No!” I was so funny I’m just assuming this but I got the feeling you wouldn’t take your shirt off because I was there I don’t know I could be wrong. South bank was so much fun it was a day I would never forget running around at the pools that bird sound whistle you brought but the moment I remember most is when we were walking back to the car and you told Sarah that you had dumped Mikki, at that persist moment I had gotten butterfly’s so strong they were going to knock me over you didn’t have to say anything for me to know what was coming. I was pulled aside by Lee “Will you go out with Matty?” he asked I really wish you would have asked me out yourself. I tried so hard to get the word ‘yes’ through my lips but all that came out was ‘maybe’ I was truly disappointed in myself.
The ride home was a little awkward but all I could do is smile. Walking home from your place that afternoon gave me some time to think I wanted to spin in circles and scream from the top of my lungs “Matty James asked me out!” I was close to it but I kept it inside. After two days I said yes.
Ha-ha do you remember when you threw a boxing glove at me instead of Bren? I do you kept on saying you’re sorry but I know you wanted to laugh just as much as I was you're dad made you kiss me on both cheeks that night was amazing.
Writing this is bringing up so many memory’s that I will never forget I can’t stop smiling soon I will have tears in my eyes. I remember running to the corner shop in the rain and getting drenched from head to toe on the way back we walked and you asked me if I was wearing a bikini top and I had been wearing it since I had been at your place I thought you were supposed to notice these things.
We went out for one month and a week not long but it didn’t change the fact that I had fallen for you completely. When you inboxed me telling me that it was over I was confused you said you didn’t want to hurt me but you did without realising.
About three or so months later you I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I felt my phone vibrate and once again you didn’t have to say anything for me to know what was going to happen. I asked dad If I could stay the night at your place than waited for you to pick me up, when we were walking to your place Sarah put her arm around mine and said “Matt is going to ask you out” “I know” I replied with a massive grin on my face.
That time round of going out with you was just as amazing as the first. When you asked me if I said yes to you because I felt sorry for you broke me In two, I tried to tell you that I said yes because I wanted to Matty you have no idea how much I wanted you to ask me out you really don’t, but you ruined it by not believing that I truly loved you.
After that I didn’t want to look at you I didn’t want to see your face but then you went out with my best friend which hurt me a lot she didn’t even notice. The amazing thing is you became a brother to me you were there for me when my Mum died you were their when I needed to talk, what happened to that?
Now we don’t even talk no a hi or a hey you moved and I haven’t seen you for a year I miss your hugs I miss your eyes your face I miss you, writing this has made me realise that we were always better as friends it made me realise I don’t love you like a boyfriend I love you like a brother I will always have.
It’s hard to realise it but I now know that I am over you and I want you to talk to me again I want it to be as if nothing changed and we were like brother and sister again. It’s the only thing I will even ask of you.
Love Always Clair
P.s
Don’t forget me
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