Alice's Return | Teen Ink

Alice's Return

May 14, 2010
By KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling


I slammed the doctor’s office door and stormed down the steps. My sister, Lorina, called after me, “Alice! Stop running! It’s okay, I won’t let anyone make fun of you anymore!” I ignored her, she was always wrong. She though Mr. Dodgson had just been documenting my thoughts and experiences for future reference, when he had actually been recording them to make into a book.
I didn’t stop walking, quite the opposite, I began jogging slowly picking up speed as I began to recognize the streets and houses of London. I finally reached the street I lived on and slowed to a walk, trying to catch my breath. I saw several windows open as I walked past, then shut as soon as I glanced at them. The attention never stopped, my mum and dad never heard the end of it, and dad was fired the other day. He’d been finding it hard to find a job, everyone has heard about my little adventure.
My classmates used to pick on me and steal my lunch claiming that “A white rabbit grabbed it and ran away! I guess he was late for something.” The entire cafeteria would burst out laughing. I ended up in the guidance office the first few times, but eventually I was led to the principal.
My mum was eventually forced to pull me out of public school and I had received home schooling, not that it did much good, for Mum always left to work wherever she could to support us, and Dad rarely left his room, except to grab a new alcoholic drink. I edged the door open and stepped inside, expecting to hear a rude comment or something from someone. But there was nothing, silence.
I tiptoed my way down the hallway and peered into Dad’s room, he was fast asleep. I sighed, feeling an immense pressure lift momentarily.
I eased the door to my room shut and I took that famous blue dress out again, I stared, there was where I ripped it in the White Rabbit’s house, after I accidentally consumed one of those horrible size potions. And there, there was the rust from the White Rabbit’s watch. I sighed, folding it up to shove to under my floorboards, hoping no one would find it.
I sat down on my small bed, with thoughts rushing through my mind. Should I run away? No, I can’t. But it would ease some of the pressure of my family. No, if I can just get through this phase. But I was kidding myself. This wasn’t a phase, it would stay with me wherever I went, however old I got. A tear slid down my cheek, dropping off of my chin onto my lap. I made a split decision, one that would change my life forever.
I snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a loaf of bread and an assortment of fruits. I took them back into my room and slid them under the covers. I was just closing my door when I heard Lorina walking up the front steps of our home. The doorknob jiggled several times, then finally I heard the telltale screech of its hinges. I braced myself for the reprimand I was sure was coming.
“Alice. Alice? Alice!” It wasn’t a mean or scolding call. I stepped out from the shadows of the hallway and Lorina gave a sigh of relief. “Oh, there you are. I was worried you didn’t come home.” She looked so tired and put out. We lapsed into silence and I backed slowly towards my door. I went inside and quickly locked it. I scooped up the food in my bed and put it into the small rucksack I had from my schooling years. I gently slid open the window, then forced my body through a gap it should not have fit through.
I dropped on all fours to the ground, then reached up and slid the window back down. The first few steps were the toughest, was I making the right decision? My thoughts passed and I began to pick up speed, walking at a brisk pace, my feet and legs seeming to know where to go. I passed the stores and houses of people from my past life. But no, now I was never coming back.
A lone tear rolled down my cheek as I reached my unknown destination. I stopped short; I was near the river where I had fallen down the rabbit hole. I thought I had left this god-forsaken place in my past. But I realized there was nowhere else for me to go.
Scanning the area, I realized that the White Rabbit’s hole had moved. I scurried forward, reminding me of myself not that long ago. I took a few steps toward it, breathing deeply to prepare myself for the plunge. I was on the brink looking down, when someone grasped my shoulders and spun me around.
“Lorina! You scared me. How did you know where to find me?”
“Well, it wasn’t that hard. I followed you since you left the house.” Lorina stated simply.
“Wow. Well, do you believe me now? You can see for yourself, right behind me.”
She gave me a concerned look, glancing over my should, “Alice, dear, there isn’t anything behind you. You are standing in the middle of nowhere. I mean, I know where we are, but there isn’t anything special about this place.”
“What do you mean? Can you not see this circle behind me? It’s a hole. The hole.” I hissed. She must be playing with me.
Lorina looked really worried, “Alice, I realize that you have been picked on and talked about a lot recently, but that doesn’t mean you need to give in and think that you are crazy. I know you, you aren’t like this.”
“Lorina! This is not funny!” I said in a loud voice. She grabbed my hand and pulled. I whipped my hand out and took a step back towards the hole. She followed, putting her arm through mine.
“Alice, let’s just go home. Stop making a spectacle of yourself! You are embarrassing me!”
“You’re embarrassed?! You don’t know the meaning of the word! You are nothing but a self-centered jerk!” I jerked away, my toes precariously hanging over the rim. She put her hand on my shoulder, meaning to push me away, but before she could, I grabbed her arm, and took the last step.
And we fell.
Back to Wonderland.


The author's comments:
Alice in Wonderland, the other side of the hole!

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This article has 58 comments.


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 3:17 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Okay! sorry, i was just clarifying.

IvyVine SILVER said...
on Jul. 13 2010 at 12:12 pm
IvyVine SILVER, Unknown, Indiana
9 articles 0 photos 28 comments
Yes that's what i meant.

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:58 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Oh, i see! cool, thanks!

on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:54 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

The part of having her bullied for being different. In a lot of writings I have read on here, the fantasy ones, they always are looked up to, but you made Alice an ordinary girl.

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:40 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Why thank you! This actually took a lot of research to make, because if I want to keep going with it, i need to reread the book, and I had to look up the actual Alice and her family, and this is who they are 90 % sure it was based off of.

What do you mean "related to other people"?


on Jul. 12 2010 at 6:17 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

Wow, VERY unique! I love how you made another character a major role in the story! :)

And I like how you made Alice related to other people by having her get bullied.


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 3:24 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

What do you mean by inticing? as in you want to read more?

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 12 2010 at 3:23 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Thanks! Sorry bout the late response, I didn't realize i never responded... :P

on Jul. 7 2010 at 9:49 pm
haha i feel ur pain! whenever u post something to a website the forematting always gets messed up

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 7 2010 at 9:26 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

That is very true, and yes, I need to fix the indenting, it was indented on my Mac, but not on here... idk what happened.

on Jul. 7 2010 at 9:19 pm

Well if you fix the indenting it would be a lot easier to read lol.

and i didn't really see that many miniscule problems. Before I check again, check it yourself and see how many you find. It helps you improve more if you catch them yourselves.


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 7 2010 at 11:43 am
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Thank you! That is exactly what I was aiming for.

on Jul. 7 2010 at 10:57 am
Shoka_no_sanraizu SILVER, Huntington, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 25 comments
Wow! I loved it. I mean I always had my own ideas for a Return to Wonderland story but this was really good and different

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 7 2010 at 8:35 am
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Thanks! I wasn't really planning on writing more, because I just wanted to show the audience a new way to look at Alice in Wonderland. but you never know!

on Jul. 7 2010 at 8:17 am
Inherinerd GOLD, Ashland, Ohio
16 articles 9 photos 302 comments

Favorite Quote:
A word to the wise ain't nessecary it's the stupid ones that need the advise

wow i really like this and i think you should write another chapter!!!~

on Jul. 6 2010 at 4:03 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

I'm sure it was:)

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 3:56 pm
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Haha, thank you! It was fun to think about Alice in a new way.

KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:10 am
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

THANK YOU! I have been asking for criticism, and the only thing I have gotten so far is "wow, i havent thought about it this way" or "good job". Yeah, I realized this, I tend to tell stories rather than show them, so I will fix that.

Are there any other even miniscule problems you see?


KK2013 GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 8:08 am
KK2013 GOLD, Solon, Ohio
10 articles 2 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.-J. K. Rowling

Thank you! I appreciate the enthusiasm!

on Jul. 5 2010 at 7:55 pm

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

very creative! I'm not really all that familiar with the Alice in Wonderland story other than it's about a chick who goes on an acid trip and they just forgot to mention she dropped the acid. So I really can't comment on anything besides the grammar and mechanics of the story which all looks fine.

But the opening sentence... do you think there's a better way than "i slammed the door and stomped down the steps." It's good to open with action, and this is good action, but it seems like you could do better. I dunno. It's a neat little story so I mean what more can you ask for?