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Pride

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There was a place called Earth.

On Earth, each person owned a special Tree, and they cared for and helped the Trees to grow, for it was their life to grow the Trees as high as they could.

Some succeeded, and their Trees stretched as high as the sky and were so big that even seven people couldn’t stretch their arms to encircle the Tree.

However, some Trees were small and delicate. They barely reached one third of the tall Trees’ heights and were quite scrawny-looking.

Now everyone on Earth owned one Tree, every Tree different from another. No one could climb a Tree that wasn’t theirs, even if the owner wanted another person to climb on, not that anyone tried to invite someone else to their Tree.

On top of every Tree were people called Skyscrapers, and do you know what each Skyscraper did every day, every night? They hurled down big balls of mud. These balls of mud were about as big as a fist and were very disgusting.

Skyscrapers kept on hurling down the endless supplies of Mud Balls at the Skyscrapers below.

Occasionally, some would try to throw the Mud Balls upwards, but few succeeded and if it did hit, more Mud Balls from above would come raining down.

So the conclusion was that, the lower your Tree was, the more Mud Balls you get.

One Earth, this was everything! Day and night, hailing down Mud Balls.

Because of this, Skyscrapers were in constant fear and were always anxious and fearful of what was going to happen next. Although the ones on the highest Trees were thought to be the happiest, they lived in more pain that one day; there would be a Skyscraper with a Tree higher than he.
However, of the Skyscrapers, there was one exception, the Others.

These people had no Trees but they stayed on the ground.

The Others always begged, day and night, and sometimes even tried to climb the Trees without success, the Skyscrapers to come down, for they were wise and knew what was going to happen when the Trees got too high.

But Skyscrapers only laughed at them and showered down Mud Balls. However, no matter how good their aim was, The Others never got hit. It was as if there was an invisible shield surrounding and protecting each one, and the Mud Balls just bounced right off.

Every Skyscraper secretly envied The Others and longed to be like them, for The Others were immune to Mud Balls, and they always seemed to be relaxed and happy-looking. But none of the Skyscrapers wanted to give up their Trees, because it was their life goal to grow their Trees higher and higher.

Then one day, something happened. The highest Tree on Earth fell.

One Skyscraper below got so mad, whatever the reason was, at the owner of the tallest Tree and pitched a Mud Ball straight at the Tree. It hit, and slowly, but surely, the Tree fell.

The owner at the top of the Tree was dead.

The Others grimly nodded, for they knew that it was only death that would greet any “high” Skyscraper in the end.

It was then everyone realized that, “Bigger Trees have Bigger Falls.”

It was stupid, but still, no Skyscraper would give up their Tree, even after the Incident. Skyscrapers would just try to get higher and higher, and occasionally, death occurred.

Years went by, but nothing changed.

Skyscrapers still flung down Mud Balls and The Others still begged for Skyscrapers to come down.

This is not a fairy tale.

This is not in the past.

This is still happening.



The planet Earth is a cruel and vicious place.

It welcomes the evil and blocks the righteous. It flatters the rich and scorns at the poor.

The Trees, the pride of people, are still growing.

The Mud Balls, hurtful words and actions resulting from the pride, are still being chucked down.

The Skyscrapers, people who long for riches and power, are still fighting.

The Others, people of peace, the peacemakers, are still pleading.

That is Earth.




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This article has 25 comments. Post your own!

KristenDreams said...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 8:39 pm:
Nice work. I liked it how you told the story in a very straight forward way, but it was very mysterious in a way.
 
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emily12mhs said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 10:53 am:
Neat story! I like how you explained the story also at the bottom. Makes the reader compare how they interpreted the story with the authors motive.
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 5:27 am :
thanx! if you don't mind me asking, wat did you first interpret my story as?
 
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NicelyWritten said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 10:19 am:
Great story!  It was told very well and you got your point across.  It wasn't to long, and I think the only thing you could have done if you wanted was to go into depth about how we can change our actions.  Keep up the great work!
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:38 am :
thank you!!!! :)
 
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Inherinerd said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 7:29 am:
frankly, i dont have any critisism, it was a perfect way to get your point across!!!!!!!!!! I loved it 5*s and favorited
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:24 am :
thanx soooo much!! this means sooo mcuH to me! thanx so much! that's al i can say thank you!!!!
 
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Writer24 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 8:52 am:
Oh my goodness, it's so good! I never expected the ending at all and I really liked the way the whole thing was an analogy.
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 8:50 pm :
thanx so much!! :)
 
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AvengedJasonFold said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 9:32 pm:
did my simon feedback get posted? i know i've read this before and i could've sworn i posted a review on it lol if it didnt get posted im sorry and just remind me and ill post it lol
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 2:23 am :
uhhh,,, it didn't get posted....
 
AvengedJasonFold replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 5:59 pm :
well basically this looks like a book for kids or a fable/folk tale kind of thing... i could go on and on about how much i hate folk tales because they're rarely ever interesting and they always seem to have a cliche moral or something that i completely disagree with but instead im just going to say that it's not my genre so therefore i don't wanna give you bad criticism--the stuff i might have said earlier may have been bad criticism lol
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 4:26 am :

it was lol

but it's ok, it's not ur type of writing, no offense taken ^^

 
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AEAluvsanimals said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 3:40 pm:

I liked the simple storytelling, haunting ending and powerful immagery. It's simple power reminds me of a D.R. Suess story called Sneetches except your portrayal of those miserably at the top is your own.

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WORK

 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 2:17 am :
ok, i'm on it ;)
 
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CallMeFelixThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:36 am:
Great work =) I'm just wondering exactly how the Skyscrapers got a bunch of mud in the first place, since they're at the top of the trees.... Still, good job, good metaphor, and good message. Keep writing!
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 6:08 am :

haha thnx

i never thought about that....how do they get it up there???

 
CallMeFelixThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 8:47 am :
Haha xD Let me know if you ever figure it out
 
Amiee replied...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:30 am :
maybe their tree leaves have special substances that creates mud? dunno XD
 
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Annalibelle said...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 12:08 pm:

Hi, it’s Annali with actually helpful reviews...

The way you tell the story is almost like a folk tale or a fairy tale. The language is very plain, and this does fit the folk tale tone. However you might want to consider beefing up your word choice in some instances. Also, you tend to "tell" not show. You tend to say: "this is what they did", instead make it more active and say " they did".  

Sometimes the flow of a sentence sounds just a little bit awkward, ex. : "No... (more »)

 
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