I am running through a field of flowers- dandelions, I think- thousands of them, bending nobly at the tops of their pale stems, fighting to stand up against the callous wind that seems to keep blowing me back to where I came from.
I am running, unwittingly kicking up the flowers while they struggle to stay rooted, making their stems snap and release the soft earth.
I am running, getting hit in the face by the little white seeds and puffs that fly off of the dandelions.
The flurry of seeds and puffs makes it difficult to see what I am running toward- or should I say, who? But her scarlet trench coat stands out for miles, so I keep running.
“Catch me!” her voice rings out like a bell in the silence.
“I’m coming!” I try to shout- but nothing comes out. She laughs as I try again, somehow seeing me from where she stands at the center of the field. Her laugh echoes and swirls around my ears as I run faster. The headless stems lock together, forming a long path of falls and descents. I trip again and stay down, hoping to catch my speeding breath.
“Keep running.” I hear someone breathe into my ear. I gasp and move my hands protectively to my side, where she usually is- but she’s not there. She’s too far for me to protect. I get on my knees and look ahead, trying to catch sight of the blood red coat in the center of the field, but it is nowhere to be found.
“Where are you?” I scream, looking in all directions. She stays hidden.
“Where are you?” she repeats from somewhere. Suddenly, I spot a crimson dot in the white hill ahead, and stand. I start running.
“You’ll never catch me.” She laughs. I curse quietly.
“I’ll never let you. You lost me once- do you really think you can have me back?” she asks. I trip again and am held down by the roots, forced to look at the cloudy sky. The clouds clear out and are replaced by a giant monitor that replays the events of the night before, emphasizing their sounds in case I close my eyes- the screeching of tires; hollow clashing of metal; her whimpers; the screams of passengers in the other vehicle; sirens, oh so many whining sirens; my reassuring whispers; then silence. A lot of silence.
I am no longer held down by anything. The dandelions are standing straight up, poking me as I rise to look for her again. There is no crimson dyed coat to move towards, so I just walk.
“It’s no fun if you don’t look for me.” Her voice grumbles. Just like she said before. She wanted to play hide and seek, but I had to work.
“If I’ll never find you, why should I play?” I call out. A flash of red appears at my side for a second and I reach out to touch it, but it’s gone.
“We have to go. Daddy’s waiting for us to wake up. We can’t wake up until we’re together, so let me find you.” I say, firmly believing in my lie.
“Daddy’s going to be late,” she announces from behind me. Another flash of red appears and disappears. “And we are awake. Silly mommy, we can’t ever fall asleep anymore. Or wake up. We’re just stuck here until you find me. Then we can go to the other place.”
“Yes we can.” I whisper, my steps getting faster.
“No, we can’t wake up.”
“Yes we can.” I repeat furiously. “Yes we can. We can wake up and we’re going to wake up so we can get back to Daddy and keep living with him. Let me find you-” I’m screaming at this point, shushed by the rustling of leaves in the distance. I search the area for trees and spot mounds of dark green and unsophisticated browns at the top of one hill. I start running.
“Is that where you are? In the trees? Didn’t Daddy say not to play in those?” I mutter, trampling the flowers in my way.
“Daddy’s not here though,” she whispers into my ear.
“How long until he gets here?” I ask nervously.
“Years and years and years. Daddy will have a long life,” she declares. “Where are you going?”
“To the trees. That’s where you are, isn’t it?” I sigh.
“What trees?”
I look up and see nothing but the sky- no mess of russet vines and olive leaves. No crimson coat-wearing child waiting for me to take her home.
“Where are you?” I shout, falling to my knees.
“I can’t tell you. You have to find me yourself. And don’t ask those mean old flowers- they tell all my secrets,” her voice grumbles.
I pluck one dandelion from its spot on the ground and sigh, “Where is she?”
There is no response.
I take a deep breath, then let it out, watching the dandelion’s seeds fly out. But, instead of quickly falling to the ground, they continue moving, out past the hill. I stand and follow them. They continue to flutter until they arrive at the entrance to a white forest- all the trees made from ice and mirrors. I look into one leaf and see I’m frighteningly pale- a moving corpse with a pastel face and naked body. I keep walking, deeper into the crystal forest.
And there I see her. I wonder, Is she like me? Is she a cadaver, innocently covered by only her red coat?
She kneels in the center of the path. The dandelions, red now, always needing to somehow contrast with the rest of the setting, seem to bow down, congratulating me on finally finding her. I walk to her side. She looks up, pale blue eyes sparkling, ashen hair flowing, and smiles, shedding her coat and lifting her hand. I take it in my own, warming it immediately.
“Mommy, why are you crying? You found me,” she whispers.
I am running, unwittingly kicking up the flowers while they struggle to stay rooted, making their stems snap and release the soft earth.
I am running, getting hit in the face by the little white seeds and puffs that fly off of the dandelions.
The flurry of seeds and puffs makes it difficult to see what I am running toward- or should I say, who? But her scarlet trench coat stands out for miles, so I keep running.
“Catch me!” her voice rings out like a bell in the silence.
“I’m coming!” I try to shout- but nothing comes out. She laughs as I try again, somehow seeing me from where she stands at the center of the field. Her laugh echoes and swirls around my ears as I run faster. The headless stems lock together, forming a long path of falls and descents. I trip again and stay down, hoping to catch my speeding breath.
“Keep running.” I hear someone breathe into my ear. I gasp and move my hands protectively to my side, where she usually is- but she’s not there. She’s too far for me to protect. I get on my knees and look ahead, trying to catch sight of the blood red coat in the center of the field, but it is nowhere to be found.
“Where are you?” I scream, looking in all directions. She stays hidden.
“Where are you?” she repeats from somewhere. Suddenly, I spot a crimson dot in the white hill ahead, and stand. I start running.
“You’ll never catch me.” She laughs. I curse quietly.
“I’ll never let you. You lost me once- do you really think you can have me back?” she asks. I trip again and am held down by the roots, forced to look at the cloudy sky. The clouds clear out and are replaced by a giant monitor that replays the events of the night before, emphasizing their sounds in case I close my eyes- the screeching of tires; hollow clashing of metal; her whimpers; the screams of passengers in the other vehicle; sirens, oh so many whining sirens; my reassuring whispers; then silence. A lot of silence.
I am no longer held down by anything. The dandelions are standing straight up, poking me as I rise to look for her again. There is no crimson dyed coat to move towards, so I just walk.
“It’s no fun if you don’t look for me.” Her voice grumbles. Just like she said before. She wanted to play hide and seek, but I had to work.
“If I’ll never find you, why should I play?” I call out. A flash of red appears at my side for a second and I reach out to touch it, but it’s gone.
“We have to go. Daddy’s waiting for us to wake up. We can’t wake up until we’re together, so let me find you.” I say, firmly believing in my lie.
“Daddy’s going to be late,” she announces from behind me. Another flash of red appears and disappears. “And we are awake. Silly mommy, we can’t ever fall asleep anymore. Or wake up. We’re just stuck here until you find me. Then we can go to the other place.”
“Yes we can.” I whisper, my steps getting faster.
“No, we can’t wake up.”
“Yes we can.” I repeat furiously. “Yes we can. We can wake up and we’re going to wake up so we can get back to Daddy and keep living with him. Let me find you-” I’m screaming at this point, shushed by the rustling of leaves in the distance. I search the area for trees and spot mounds of dark green and unsophisticated browns at the top of one hill. I start running.
“Is that where you are? In the trees? Didn’t Daddy say not to play in those?” I mutter, trampling the flowers in my way.
“Daddy’s not here though,” she whispers into my ear.
“How long until he gets here?” I ask nervously.
“Years and years and years. Daddy will have a long life,” she declares. “Where are you going?”
“To the trees. That’s where you are, isn’t it?” I sigh.
“What trees?”
I look up and see nothing but the sky- no mess of russet vines and olive leaves. No crimson coat-wearing child waiting for me to take her home.
“Where are you?” I shout, falling to my knees.
“I can’t tell you. You have to find me yourself. And don’t ask those mean old flowers- they tell all my secrets,” her voice grumbles.
I pluck one dandelion from its spot on the ground and sigh, “Where is she?”
There is no response.
I take a deep breath, then let it out, watching the dandelion’s seeds fly out. But, instead of quickly falling to the ground, they continue moving, out past the hill. I stand and follow them. They continue to flutter until they arrive at the entrance to a white forest- all the trees made from ice and mirrors. I look into one leaf and see I’m frighteningly pale- a moving corpse with a pastel face and naked body. I keep walking, deeper into the crystal forest.
And there I see her. I wonder, Is she like me? Is she a cadaver, innocently covered by only her red coat?
She kneels in the center of the path. The dandelions, red now, always needing to somehow contrast with the rest of the setting, seem to bow down, congratulating me on finally finding her. I walk to her side. She looks up, pale blue eyes sparkling, ashen hair flowing, and smiles, shedding her coat and lifting her hand. I take it in my own, warming it immediately.
“Mommy, why are you crying? You found me,” she whispers.
Post a Comment
Be the first to comment on this article!