Teen Ink
teenink
TeenInk "Thinking is the best way to travel." - The Moody Blues http://t.co/5jzE5kVJyB
Thu May 23, 2013 10:55am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk If this is the ending of the story, what is the beginning? http://t.co/gRzPosYXRi
Wed May 22, 2013 8:48am Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk I posted a new photo to Facebook http://t.co/Y2aXGHv5cc
Awaken my sweet fool,
To the dawn of the morn',
To the birds song of summer,
Lost in yesterday.
Awaken my sweet fool,
To the laughter of the stream,
Sliding and running from bed to bed,
As their waves glisten in the sun.
Stay with me sweet fool,
Till the dewdrops fall asleep,
Till the wind fears to blow,
And the sun no longer plays.
Stay with me sweet fool,
The world is larger still,
Not all are as wise as I,
Some lost in the thoughts of men.
Run away sweet fool,
From the troubles of the world,
From the crazy ways of children,
Turn your back to the setting sun.
Run away sweet fool,
Never go astray,
Stay your path, never look back,
To the ways of yesterday.
First, just a few grammatical things that I thought might be helpful: You need an apostrophe after "birds". Also, you used "their" for "stream", so you would either need to change "their" to "its" or "stream" to "streams". But I'm always doing stuff like that, so don't worry about it. :) Overall, I like the poem. A few of my favorite lines are "Till the wind fears to blow," and "Lost in yesterday". Just fix the little grammar things and you will be good to go!
I didn even notice the mistakes! Thank you for pointing them out. Sometimes I get so caught up in typing them I forget to check for mistakes :) and by the way thanks, I really appreciate all the feedback I can get on my poems. :)
