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Teen Ink
teenink
Feb. 14 at 11:01 pm
Not searching yet wanting,
I keep an open heart all while I’m closing my eyes.
I hear your voice. It’s taunting me inside.
These days I’m just so used to late night goodbyes.
Find me, and hold me forever.
I refuse to be broken any more than this.
I promise I shall hurt you never.
You can find me waiting here for your soft kiss
Feb. 15 at 12:29 am
I love the first stanza but the second one is kinf od weak, it needs to leave something for you to decipher not just be given flatly to you.
Feb. 15 at 7:50 pm
I agree with the above statment. It almost changes voice, first stanza is all mysterious and the second one is more just staright out. You need to chose one voice.
Feb. 15 at 8:16 pm
I thought this was cool, I liked the whole thing except for the very last line. I thought your word choice there could have been stronger and more interesting:) Could you read something of mine? Thanks!
