Teen Ink on Twitter
Not searching yet wanting,
I keep an open heart all while I’m closing my eyes.
I hear your voice. It’s taunting me inside.
These days I’m just so used to late night goodbyes.
Find me, and hold me forever.
I refuse to be broken any more than this.
I promise I shall hurt you never.
You can find me waiting here for your soft kiss
I love the first stanza but the second one is kinf od weak, it needs to leave something for you to decipher not just be given flatly to you.
I agree with the above statment. It almost changes voice, first stanza is all mysterious and the second one is more just staright out. You need to chose one voice.
I thought this was cool, I liked the whole thing except for the very last line. I thought your word choice there could have been stronger and more interesting:) Could you read something of mine? Thanks!