I want to see you, but you keep pushing me away.
Every time I see you, you ask, “When are you coming to see me?”
Then I say “I don’t know; I am always busy with school.”
Then when the time comes around that I don’t have
Anything going on, you ditch me in the end.
I want to see you, and I want to try to forgive you for leaving
Me when I was nine years old. You broke my heart in a hundred different ways.
I try not to be disappointed when you ditch me in the end, or
Even look it in the face. I am tired you tossing me aside like
I am nothing at all. I don’t mean to sound like this, because I know
You’re the reason why I am living in a house instead out on the streets.
I feel like I am garbage to you, even though you don’t see it.
I always said I will forgive you one day, but that day won’t come anytime soon.
I hate it when you say we can spend time together then we don’t.
I hate it when you say you love me, but you don’t spend time with me.
I hate it when you lie to me all the time.
I hate it that I hate it when you do this to me.
I hate you for everything.
Then I hate you, for making me feel this way.
Why can’t you try a little harder?
Why can’t you see what you do to me?
I know you have fed me, gave us money, and everything that I need,
But I need more than that, I need your love.
I always dreamed about my wedding day.
The day every little girl dreams about.
The day that her daddy gives her away,
To another man, but that day I feel like will never come.
I feel like I will lose my chance of ever getting to really know you.
I feel like you will never get to know me.
Almost ten years has gone by, and soon I will be graduating.
I would like to have you there when I walk down that aisle,
And receive my diploma, and prove those people wrong.
I wanted you there when I laughed at them, on that day.
I wanted you there when I cried, over my first crush.
I wanted you there when I had my first heart beak over a boy that I liked.
I wanted you there when I had a bad dream.
I wanted you there when I had my first date.
I wanted you there so I had someone to yell at when I was hurt
Sometimes I feel like a part of me has died.
A part that you once were, but is slowly fading away.
I understand why you left; I don’t understand why you didn't try to love me even more.
I try to ignore you when you creep in my mind.
This has never been a problem before so why is it a problem now?
I can’t even answer that one.
Instead you will be there when you decide it has been long enough…