Nathanael blushed; did they all have to stare at him. "Um..." What was he supposed to say? "I guess I'm here because... Because..." He trailed off, looking out the window again, whining a little. "I'm fine! I'm here because people think I have a problem, even though I really don't. There. Can I go now?"
The counselor sighed,
"Nathaneal, part of changing is coming to grips with the fact that you have a problems, then and only then can you accept help." she said. But she turned away from him and looked at Olivia.
"Olivia, why don't you start us off with why you came here." she suggested.
Olivia looked at her shoes and then after what Mrs. Fairgrave said sunk in her head snapped up and she looked around the room with wide, anxious eyes that also had a slight irratated look in them. Then she shrugged.
"CPS made a mistake." she mumbled almost incoherently.
((Oh yeah I meant to tell you, you can PowerPlay Mrs. Fairgrave when needed, I don't mind. :-P))
"See? A mistake!" cried Nathanael, getting up from his chair. "I was sent here by mistake too! I shouldn't be here!" He glanced outside again, hating how bland and white the room was. Outside there was colour. Olivia's hair had colour.
He glared at Fairgrave, crossing his arms. "I shouldn't be here. I don't have a problem. This place is my problem."
"Nathaneal calm down." Mrs. Fairgrave said, unperturbed by the sudden outburst. She sighed when he didn't do so immiedetly.
"Nathaneal, whether you want to admit it or not you have a problem, and if you keep having outburts you will be sent to the quiet room." she told him.
Olivia jumped when Nathaneal cried out, her own slow thought had been disturbed and now were a jumble dinside her head. Which was too bad, she'd been trying to figure out why she was here in the first place. She didn't think she had a problem, she'd just been doing what her parents had taught her by example tod and she'd been sent here. It wasn't fair.
Some of the other patients jumped, or cower, or leaned away from Nathaneal when he had his out burt, not Reid though. Ried sat unperturbed, checking his nails. He didn't even look up when Nathaneal said what he said. Reid, just didn't care, a lot of people thought they shouldn't be here that it was a mistake. Reid personally shrugged it off that he was here, it wouldn't help him, it wouldn't bring his brother back, there for it couldn't fix his supposed problem. That was his reasoning for not caring a smidgeon what happened and for not trying to change.
"Oh, a quiet room, how scary," Nathanael muttered, his voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "Who cares where I go, right? I was sent here by mistake, and nobody cares. If I get sent to some 'quiet room' it'll be the same. Nobody cares."
Calm down? As if. These people couldn't make him do anything. Finally he realised why he was feeling so upset and angry. Withdrawal. Ugh. He uncrossed his arms and looked at his hands, which were trembling now.
Olivia tugged at her bead necklace her nervously, her fingers fiddling with the beads. Nathaneal's out burst had not made her more comfortable here, it had done just the oppisite, if she'd been anxious and panicky before, she was way beyond that point now. She played with her neckalce to avoid having ehr shakey hands noticed and chewed on her lip.
"Didn'' do nuttin', shoul'n' be 'ere." she mumbled to herself, her words so stumbly and lazily slurred she could barely understand herself. She bit her lip harder and tugged even more at her necklace, which was threatening to break.
Mrs. Fairgrave saw she was getting nowhere with this session. Nathaneal was too jittery and prone to out bursts, the new girl looked panicked, most of the other patients looked freaked out and Reid as usaul just looked like he didn't care.
"Session is adjourned for now." Mrs. Fairgrave huffed as she got up. "You will be staying in this room until lunch though, just mingle and get to know each other." she commanded, she got up and left the room, calling in soem other supervisors to watch the patients and make sure nothing happened that was bad.
Nathanael sighed. Did he seriously just scare away the counselor? Was that a good thing, or a bad thing? He honestly couldn't tell.
But the poor new girl - Olivia - looked so scared and upset now. Was that his fault? With an apologetic smile, he knelt in front of her again. "Sorry if I scared you," he murmured sheepishly, once again fascinated by those beads. "They're pretty. The beads and stuff."
Startled Olivia gave an especially hard yank to her necklace, and the string snapped. Beads scattered everywhere. Olivia looked shocked for a few moments, then she nodded "Yeah. They are pre''y" she mumbled in response to Nathaneal, she was alightly annoyed that he always seemed to be kneeling when he talked to her, just becuase she looked like a little child didn't mean she was one! Thoughs he guessed she couldn't blame him, he probably wanted to look her in the eyes, which was an immpossible feat with bending over so much you looked ridiculous or kneeling.
Olivia slide off her chair started to gather the baads up, clutching the string and the few beads that had satyed on it in her hand. She was irratated now, irratated with ehrself for breaking her neckalce, irratated with CPs for putting her here, irratated with everything and anything. Most of the patients were still sitting in there seats, talking with their neightbor softly, or the like the boy Reid, watching the scene between her and Nathaneal. She crawled around on the floor gather her precious beads up so she could restring her necklace.
"Oh! Sorry!" Nathanael scrambled around with her, picking up as many beads as he could, blushing with embarrassment. "Sorry, sorry," he muttered again. "I didn't mean to scare you and make you break it... Here." He handed her some beads, then started looking for more, just in case he missed some. Did he always have to screw everything up? Ugh. Such a failure. Stupid. A moron, that's what he was. An idiot.
Olivia muttered a hurried thank you to Nathaneal's apology as she restrung her neckalce, sitting crisscross, she was very particular about where the beads went and how she strung the beads. Olivia wished she were allowed out of the room so she could go and get more string and/or beads. She was nervous, anxious, and felt like she was bout to have a panic attack. Restring the beads was helping her calm a bit, maybe it was good her necklace had broken, by now she'd probably be in a full blown panic attack if she didn't ave it to help her.
She finished re-stringing the necklaces and found, that since she had to tie a new knot a few beads wouldn't fitt on it anymore, she held the extra's out to Nathaneal, feeling better now that she was almost done with her necklace. Besides he'd been nice enough to help her pick up te beads, plus it may keep his eyes off her hair, she found it slightly creepy him staring at her braids all the time.
The beads she held out to him were brightly colored beads with a designs etched into them, making them slightly textured.
Nathanael blinked, confused. Were these beads for him? He took them carefully, not wanting to drop them, and realised how much bigger his hands were than Olivia's. "Thank you..." he murmured, smiling down at them as he studied their intricate designs and gorgeous colours. He glanced up at her, that smile still on his face, like a kid in a candy store. "They're so pretty, aren't they? I can see why you like them so much."
Olivia just shrugged as if to say 'if you want them.' When his hand touched her's she jerked her own hand away quickly, but made she didn't make him drop the beads. She stood up and sat down on her seat. Going back to playing with her necklace and staring at her shoes. She wasn't really hungry, but still she wondered what was for lunch. SHe allowed her eyes to flick around at everyone, Reid was staring at her and Nathaneal, which made her umcomfortable, more uncomfortable than she already was that is. She went back to studying her shoes.
Why did Olivia always seem so nervous? She must've been a real introvert, huh? "You don't talk much," Nathanael thought aloud without really realising it. Glancing around, he noticed Reid looking at them. Why did he always look so apathetic? About everything? Sighing, Nathanael went over to the window, wishing he was out there. Did Reid and Olivia wish they were outside too? Reid probably didn't care.
Olivia glanced at Nathaneal who was looking outside.
"No." she said in response to his comment about her nt talking much. She'd never really had anyone to talk to, she talked to herself sometimes and she talked to her sister a bit, but most of the time her sister was to drunk to care what Olivia.
"Ya shoul' 'e mo'e nice to peo'le, Olivia." she told herself, she was talking in a muttered tone under her breath. "Peo'le ain't nice ''ough so w'y tal' to 'em." she reasoned in the same muttered tone. She didn't care that she probably look insane talking to herself, becuase she found herself a brilliant conversationalist, besides she didn't trust other people enough to talk to them in a conversational way, she just assumed they wouldn't like her, wouldn't care, or wouldn't understand, she on the under normally understood herself and could keep a conversation going with herself when she was bored.
Reid stood up and walked lazily to the window, she leaned agast the window frame and stared outside, he yawned, bored. He looked at the clock, waiting until they could be realsed to lunch. His foot tapped carelessly against the floor as his eyes wandered around teh scene outside, which was mor einteresting than inside.
Nathanael glanced over at Reid. "It's pretty out there, isn't it?" he muttered with a tiny smile. Would this guy even bother talking back though? Probably not. Oh well. "I wish I was out there. So much nicer than this boring place, right?" Why did he even bother saying this stuff out loud? Reid probably wouldn't answer or anything, so what was the point? But Nathanael loved to talk; he couldn't help it. "But you probably wouldn't care," he continued, his voice a little quieter as he stared out the window. "You don't seem to care about anything... But I bet that isn't true. You have to care about something, right?"
((Sorry I randomely disappeared yesterday, something came up.))
Reid looked at Nathaneal, and gave him a lopsides I-don't-care smile.
"And why should I care about anything?" he asked, though it was more if a retorical question. He shrugged and stared outside, it would be nicer out there then in here. Out there he could expend energy and in here he just had to sit and not care about anything anyone did or said.
"An'way peo'le don'' try and make frien's wit' ya, w'y shoul' I wit' 'em?" Olivia asked herself, some of the other patients seemed to scoot away from her because she was talking to herself. Sure her speech was mumbled, slurred, and slow, but it could be under stood if you paid attention. "Beads are pre''y." she told herself, her mind changing subjects from her discussion about friendship. "There are so many differen' desig's an' colors..." she added.
Nathanael knew the question probably wasn't meant to be answered, but he replied anyway. "Because if you don't care about anything, you've got nothing to live for," he said, keeping his gaze out the window.
"So there's absolutely nothing in your life that you care about? Or used to care about? No family, friends, pets, places..." He shook his head, glancing at Reid with an almost saddened half-smile. "Might as well be dead, then."
Reid gave Nathaneal a rather dark look,
"Maybe that's what I want." he said. He then allowed himself to relax, "Then again maybe I just don't care." he added. He looked back outside at the lovely scenery. He didn't see how this place could help him, so why should he be forced to stay here? He didn't reallyc are there, here or esle where didn't matter, it wouldn't bring his brother back.
Olivia listened to the boys conversation. She looked over at them and outside the window form where she was seated. Then went back to looking at her shoes and talking with herself. This was a time she'd been told to 'socialize', 'make friends', and 'get to know the othe rpatients'. She hoped this wasn't a test becuase she was failing, she had only talking a little bit to Nathaneal, everyone else seemed to be trying to guve her her space since she was talking to herself.
"You want to be dead?" But Nathanael wasn't really all that surprised. He used to feel the same, at times, when he had a hangover or something. But still, it wasn't like he actually meant it...
He sighed, frowning at Reid, determined to find something he cared about. Anything. "Don't you care about anything at all? Surely you're not just some empty shell walking around, right? That's useless."