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teenink
Jul. 6, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I met this fantastic guy at a Job Fair in my area. it seems like we do all the same things- we were on a speech team, we love science fiction, we love to read, we love classic movies. He seems extremely intelligent (much more than any of the boyfriends I've ever had) and we talked THE WHOLE TIME while we were waiting for our interviews. He seemed to flirt with me and interested in me. But then at the last second before he leaves, he arbitrarily mentions he has a girlfriend. i was stunned! He had asked me to come by and see him at his work place and he has a girlfriend?!?!?! Well, I eventually added him on fb, and we were "buddies". We talked fairly frequently about random things. Then, he again asked me to visit his work place. So I did. When I left, he gave me a hug (NOTE: I had only known him for about 10 days and he already wanted a hug from me). I did a little background checking on his gf. They've been together for a year and he spends a lot of his time with her and her family. To me, this means he's serious about her. Idk if she's serious about him, but something about her seems very.... raw. There seems to be one big difference between them: he claims to be Methodist and she claims to be Jewish. In my book, that's a big difference if you're serious about your boyfriend/girlfriend. Also, if he's so serious about her, why is he always talking to me and (it seems like) flirting with me?
Idk if he's just suuuuuuuuuper friendly or if he's flirting with me.
Now, I don't have time for a relationship, but I feel a much stronger connection to him than I have with any of my other boyfriends. I'm not sure what to do. Plus, I don't want to break them up. I would hate to be the scapegoat for THAT.
All I know is that I'm grateful for the friendship we have and I'm quite content with it. But it WILL be hard to suppress an attraction toward him.
I also feel quite guilty for feeling this way about another girl's boyfriend. What should I do?!?
Jul. 7, 2012 at 3:20 pm
yes, i didnt read all of this i only scanned it but i know this sich i had one he was flirty hot kind funny aaaaaand at the last minute, taken that is his natural state flirty. it will hurt more the longer you wait its still gonna sting but back off and if he really likes you he will come back to you he will tell you he wants to be with you not her and if he does dont say yes atonce dont fall into his arms just say something like "you just got out of something lets wait like a week" it will be okay
Jul. 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm
Maybe he is a friendly person. He could like you, but even if he does, he has a girlfriend. That's a bit no-go line right there. What I'd suggest: enjoy your time with him. Let your friendship grow, but don't push the boundaries. Stick with "friend stuff." If he breaks off with his girlfriend, then there may be other possibilities, but it's best to try not to read into things too much at this stage.
Jul. 28, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I get the feeling that you don't need a lecture on self-control and virtue nor do you need instruction on how to hide your feelings. But however you're missing however is some facts about their relationship. For anyone can make a relationship look happy and amazing on the surface, but deep down beneath it could be really bad. But who knows, but God lol.
Anyway if I were you, I would wait and get to know this man while you can and for the sake of appearances, ALWAYS meet him in a public place. In order to avoid any suspecision on him and yourself of having an affair.
Now of course here we do have the risk that he is a "possible" player. But I have never heard of an intellegent person also being a player of hearts. So I doubt their is any danger in that respect.
Also the feelings of guilt are normal and mean you are a woman of integrity, which is a rare and much praiseworthy quality.
Jul. 31, 2012 at 3:55 pm
I was in the same position as you. I think you should just wait it out for awhile. Don't over analyze things. He might just want to be a friend, or he might have feelings for u. It seems like ur kinda freaking out a little, so just take a breath. If he makes a move on u, then remind him gently of his girlfriend. If they do break up for some reason, then, u can take the next step. What ur feeling is normal, just don't take action on it. There are some nasty labels for girls who make moves on other girls' boys.
I'm hoping I gave some good advice.. I kinda just tried to throw in anything that might help :)
Sept. 13, 2012 at 10:38 am
It turns out he was gay/bi. And I know I don't want to be in a relationship of that sort. That's just my personal preference. So I've moved on.
Sept. 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I agree with CTS's first paragraph especially the part when he says "it could be really bad". This will sound different then what you've been hearing but I say if you truly like this guy, then go for him. The thing about "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is, neither of you are married, so it's not "till death do us part". So you keep fighting till you find the person that connects with you (and if you think it's him, then don't miss your opportunity). Good luck, and I pray you make the right choice on the matter.
Sept. 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I agree with CTS's first paragraph especially the part when he says "it could be really bad". This will sound different then what you've been hearing but I say if you truly like this guy, then go for him. The thing about "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is, neither of you are married, so it's not "till death do us part". So you keep fighting till you find the person that connects with you (and if you think it's him, then don't miss your opportunity). Good luck, and I pray you make the right choice on the matter.
Mar. 18 at 8:18 pm
If you really like him, you just be their for him. This mean you don't flirt with him more then he flirt with you, you don't try to ruin his relationship. If your their from him, and get to know him well and become good platonic friends, odds are he will eventually break up with her and your be there. But, even if you don't end dating him, you should friend with him. Many people forget just how valuable it is to have an platonic opposite sex friend. He can just be fun guy friend, but if you try to get him to date you to much, you just ruin it.
Mar. 19 at 8:34 pm
guys with girlfriends never work out! i know from personal experience he told me he loved me and we were gonna be together but its all a bunch of crap
