Teen Ink on Twitter
okay so I have this friend who the entire time since school started as had her eye on this guy..lets call him bush. she has has been after bush for awhile now. and she knows the guy ive been crushing on too. hes frenchfry. i have liked him sense the beginning of school year and now have his number and have been making progress and shes known the entire time. and has even encouraged me to go after frenchfry. But then she decided bush was just using her for her brains and wasn't the one for her. so she tells me that frenchfry was her backup if things didnt go right with bush and she said she liked frenchfry first. and i was really upset, i told her that she knows i like him and have liked him longer than her and thaT if she truly did like him he wouldn't have been her backup. adn i was really upset then she told me she wouldnt go after him. then today when i asked her how she was gonna ask bush if he was using her or not she said she wasnt than she said she was sure he was and that we should stop talking about it and that its frenchfrys decision on who he picks. even though he gave me his number and weve been flirting. and i dunno if thats something a true friend would do. go after your friends crush. I just feel like sense she knew i liked him she really looked at him and realized he was cute and dateable and decided she wanted him too....
and i just wanna know if you think this is crossing the friendship line and what should i do?
Sorry it was hard to understand you. But I think I can give you good advice. It's up to your perception of friendship whether or not she crossed any lines. If you want the boy, then be prepared to lose a friend (who knows you might still be friends with her). But if you just want to make her happy then let her have him. Although I thought of one other alternative after reading it again. You could be the one to approach Bush and ask him what happened with him and your friend, and if its possible you can mend a severed relationship. I hope I helped, post again if ya need me
As far as girl code (bear in mind I'm a gentlmen with plenty of friends who are girls) this sounds like a clear violation. So it is puzzling to me how you do not see it as such, as far as my understanding goes. So I honestly think this is clearly crossing the line and you may ethir wanta work this out face to face. OR forsake your losses and make a move on 'frenchfry' before he falls into her trap. Which is date-them- use-them and leave, seen it before and it is not pretty at all.
Well i guess I didn't see it that way because I don't want to lose her as a friend but at the same time I don't know if shes truly my friend, because if she was why would she go after the guy I like? And im letting her ask him just because I can't control who she likes and shes not going to stop liking him...
Honestly, I think it's rather horrible of your friend to do something like that. While she is right that he will pick whoever he likes best it isn't right of her to go out of her way to win his affection when she knows you like him.
The thing about girls is that they get really competative. Especially with each other. When they see things going great for one of their friends, and things aren't going great in their personal life, sometimes they try to sabotage their friend to make themselves feel superior and boost that self-esteem of theirs. Is it right? Absolutely not. Never.
I think you should reconsider her as a friend, then take action. Don't be mean (not that you would, you seem like a very sweet person), and deal with her in a civil manner. No use in causing any unwanted drama.