This piece has also been published in Teen Ink's monthly print magazine.And I had no idea there was a form of suicide that was exciting...I'm with ashley there are a lot of things out there that are bad for you but you still do it beacuse you like it.
Wow! This was amazing and so true. Every smoker should have a chance to read this. In response to ashleys comment, maybe if you actually thought deeper about the poem, you would get what they are saying.
Really good. Loved it! Smoking is the most boring form of suicide.
I really like this poem... I can relate, too. please keep writing :)
I love it. I smoke <_< and the smell ain't all that great. Despite what the other viewers say, the last line is good and DEFINATLY nessicary. It makes the poem alive. Great job hon.
Hmmmmmm. Yes, I would have to agree the last line is a bit abrupt and does and does disturb the flow some, but it also takes you by suprise, and conveys the message very straight forward while also summing it up, while the rest of the poem dances around the message.
Overall I really like this.
I really like the abrupt ending. In reality most things don't end slowly and sweetly. They end abruptly if they actually do end. It is good when poetry conveys this. You have great imagery and really convey the smell to the reader.
I don't get what is happening here. Is the guy describing the smoke, or is he longing for it? This does not at all make sense.
I liked your poem. I disagree with the other reviewers. I liked the last sentence. Maybe you could just add a little more detail to it? You use excellent imagery throughout the poem and I think you could add it to the "Ciggarates will kill you". Maybe the grandfather could be on his deathbed as the character describes the smoke? I really liked it and thought your poem gave off a good message.
This was defintely an excellent poem. I agree with the other reviewers though. I think the last line is completely unneccesary, and you could have just left it off with the being ugly comment. Still, this is an intriguing poem, and I like the description of the grandfather smoke.
Great message in a few words; also some undercurrents that make you wonder ...
hey, thanks for the feedback, guys.
the last line of the poem... well, it interrupts the flow for a reason, if there was still flow, then there would be no ending.
but thanks for telling me, maybe I'll try to soften it up.
:)
Wow what a good poem.My grandpa died from cigarettes.Great message.I loved it.
this is good, but short and abrupt
thumbs up stil however(Y)
i liked it alot but i think it was abrupt at the end. it was a great message. so great i might give it 2 my health teacher. (: great job
I smoke cigarettes and im 16 years old but for some reason i do like this poem though
Everything is really great, especially the description of the grandfather kind of smoke, but I personally think that the last line is a bit abrupt and disrupts the flow.
This poem has a TERRIFIC message that all teens and adults should follow. You get right to the point with just about everything.
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