Feedback on "Do Not Eat" | Teen Ink

Feedback on "Do Not Eat"

October 8, 2014
By partulla-magenta SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
partulla-magenta SILVER, Brooklyn, New York
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nah."


          The article, "Do Not Eat", by Ansley Ayers, is a story that describes a very dangerous experience with poison. While the narrator's mom steps out of the sight of the narrator, she eats poison out of curiosity and because of the daunting words, "DO NOT EAT". The poison were tiny balls that were inside those moisture packets that could be found in shoe boxes, always with those very words plastered on it. She ate them without thinking of the consenquences, and now it had turned into a hazardous situation. She at first lied to her mother, but then she took all of her courage to finally tell her mother the truth. The article ends with the narrator's mother calling Poison Control. Overall, this story will make you feel panic, emotion, and fear from the suspense and writing. It's something worth reading, and it can be relatable in a few ways.
          I really enjoyed reading this story because I could closely relate to the narrator's curiosity and wonder about the moisture packets. I used to wonder, as a kid, about them. I found them everywhere, from show boxes to new purses. Despite my curiosity, I made sure not to let it cause the death of me, as I did in fact know that it was poison in those tiny packets. Even so, those very words, "DO NOT EAT" continued to haunt me. I also really loved how well written it was. The repetition of "DO NOT EAT" was a nice touch. It created suspense, and it really showed how daunting they were to the narrator of the story, especially since it was being repeated after every action she took to eat the poison. The descriptive language even had the ability to give us the same fear and panic the narrator felt throughout the whole story.
          The author also really knew how to get me emotional. "In those few minutes I felt my life hanging in the balance. I started to think about my mom shaking me tomorrow morning and me never waking up. I thought about my will and pictured my mom and dad crying at my funeral. I knew I had to prepare my mom for my fate". These very sentences really made me sad, since the narrator was basically imagining her death, even almost accepting it, and she knows she may die. Nobody would be willing to fully imagine their parents and close friends reacting to their death, because it's so depressing to think about. In conclusion, I really liked the article "Do Not Eat" by Ansley Ayers because of its writing and personal relatibility. It does deserve to be read and I thorougly loved it.



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