Something will always drive a person. If a person is good, it might be goals, love, a need to protect, or a need to feel accepted. For others with a darker personality, it could be hate, vengeance or want. No matter what type of person, there’s something important to everyone.
I’m no exception even though for a while I thought nothing was important to me. To say I was a problem child would be putting it mildly - I was the spawn of hell incarnate, the devil’s apprentice in size 5 shoes. I only cared about two things: myself and the toys I received. I was a complete brat.
But one day at the age of 13, I began to think more like a philosophical adult. Eventually my thoughts turned to wondering “Why am I here? Is there a reason?” I was obsessed by these questions and they even kept me up some nights, leaving me tired the next day (until my 20 bowls of sugared cereal kicked in).
Eventually, after wondering about a million questions, I found an answer - a simple answer, but one that satisfied me. I was here to live, to see as much as I could, and to do as much as I could. You only live once, so to do what you can to the best of your ability and just live was enough for me. If I were to leave this earth now, I would hate it with all my being. The only thing that matters to me, the only thing I care about, is to live!
I don’t care how or why I decided this was the most important factor, or even if it makes any sense, but I feel that at the age of 17, I have already experienced as many hardships as some adults. I feel the more experiences I gain, the more importance my goal seems to be. What is important to me is to see how my life will end, and to give it one heck of a back story.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.