Just Your Ordinary Letter to God
I’m sorry that I didn’t keep my life very “Kosher” for the past year. To be honest, Mr. G, it’s been very hard. I’m a teenager trying to find my place in life, and therefore, we make many mistakes. I apologize for yelling “Jesus Christ” on the bema when I forgot a line during my bat- mitzvah service. It was also wrong of me to go to the bathroom and text my friend from New York during the service when my twin sister was chanting. There’s a lot of things I probably shouldn’t tell you, but since you basically let me live when I was premature in the hospital, I owe you. I also regret praying for 4 days straight every night because I wanted to win a pair of AMAZINGLY ADORABLEY UBER-FANTABULOUS CUTE pair of jeans on E-Bay. I know that I should be praying for world peace and for Patrick Dempsey to marry my mom (she told me to pray for Mc Dreamy), but the whole world knows it’s going to take a miracle for those things to happen.
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