I really enjoyed reading about your game winnig shot. I liked how you slowed down the foul shot. Exspecially when you talk about your form before the shot, and you descreibed how the sweat soked down your face. Basketball is a husle sport, and all that sweat is an important part of how you shot. The sweat can make or break your shot, if you get a good grip on the ball or if it slips out. I think you can add on to how the ball felt in your sweaty hands. The ending on the article was really good. It leaves alot of suspense when you ended your artical in " I heard the most beutiful sound. Swish. This was a great article and i can fully relate to this event and I know what is like to hear that sound swish and then the buzzer going off, and yu just have that feeling that you won that game.

I really enjoyed reading this passge because I'm also another huge basketball fan and love to play the game also. The way you describe what led you to the foul line and what your feelings are during your shot helped me paint a clear picture in my mind. I've had alot of experiences like this also. When you say "It was this shot, this simple shot that I've made so many times before" gives you the confidence to make the shot. You do a great job explaining what exactly your doing, "I placed my hands on the ball, slighty bent my legs, jumped, and launched the ball" is more exciting that saying I caught the ball and shot it and I made it and our team won. This is a great piece and will definately help me with my writing. Thank you.

Thank-you!!! Im REALLY glad that you enjoyed it, and that it gave you ideas to improve your writing! I love basketball! Thanks again! :)

I really enjoyed reading this piece, mainly because I can relate to the same topic. Last season in basketball, I was driving to the hoop and was pounded to the ground; this caused me to go to the free throw line. I was nervous because all the pressure was on me. Thankfully, like this person, I made the shots and we won. I also can relate to this piece because it is the same topic I chose to write about in my descriptive piece. In addition, I liked the descriptive words and sentences throughout this article. For example, it says, "But this time it was different. The sweat was pouring down my face." This painted a clearer picture in my mind about what this person looks like. I also liked how you explained the actions that took place before the shot was released. You just did not say, "I shot the ball and it went in." You actually extended the moment and said, "I dribbled once, and the sound echoed throughout the stadium. I placed my hands on the ball, slightly bent my legs, jumped, and launched the ball." This again was more descriptive and made it sound like a more powerful moment. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece and it gave me a few great ideas on how I can make my descriptive piece better.