I’m shaking. I’ve never been this way before; I guess it means a lot to me. I know it seems silly, but I’m waiting for the musical cast list to be posted, and I think I’m going crazy over it. My hands can barely type, my heart is pounding, and all the while that weird feeling never goes away. It’s the only part of this that never does.
I’ve been drawing out the minutes, trying to make everything last longer than it should, but that never helps. My hair is still damp; I remember how horrible the shower was. It only gives your hands something to do, so my mind was free to wander. Doubting myself, then encouraging, then back in the dark. Not something I want to relive. 11:30, why can’t it be 12:00 yet? School was hard enough today, but this seems like torture.
I’ve been trying to find out why this means so much to me, besides the point that I love to perform.
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