Jaded | Teen Ink

Jaded

October 8, 2010
By bianca1 SILVER, San Diego, California
bianca1 SILVER, San Diego, California
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game


When I was little I never had to care
About what I wore, about my hair
I didn’t seem myself in a bad way
I was happy to be myself; oh those were the good days,

I never cared about money
How much my parents were making
Or how much I was taking
I didn’t care that my mom didn’t go to work
All I was just happy that she stayed home to comfort me when I was hurt

It wasn’t until one day when my entire world became bigger
When life got harder and my innocence got thinner
I started to care about everything around
I couldn’t believe that this whole time I’ve been looking down.

People started to point out my flaws and everything I’ve never seen
All of a sudden it was a bad thing to be me
Other kids noticed my dark eyes and hair
My curvy body and my full lips
It wasn’t until now that I started to care.

I became jaded
And my good self image faded
I had never thought that I would live up to others thoughts
I turned into someone else that I hated a lot

I blame the world for making me feel so ashamed
I felt bad to have my own name
I woke up every day feeling the same
Unhappy but it was only me that I could blame.

But it wasn’t until I realized that I couldn’t be anyone else
Forever I was going to be stuck with myself
I could buy all the clothes and make up I wanted
But no matter how hard I try to cover up the past I know I will forever be haunted.

But now, after a lot of crying and help from friends
me and my self image have finally made amends
The mirror can lie
Since it will never show how I’m full of life inside

The world has made me jaded
And life is getting more complicated
I’m still finding myself in the long road ahead
But I like that every day is locked with a mystery
And only I have the key.
And every day I find another reason why

I am lucky to be me.



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