Choked | Teen Ink

Choked

February 15, 2011
By Bonus_Weetee67 GOLD, Pelham, Alabama
Bonus_Weetee67 GOLD, Pelham, Alabama
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Gentlemen, we are going to chase perfection, knowing full well, we will not catch it."

"Hope is a waking dream."

"I'm not made of glass, you can't just clean off the bruises."


His mind raced. His heart skipped, stuttered, stopped and all of the above at the same time. He tried to make the lines meet like their lips would after their date that she would agree to go on with him. “Yeah, She’s gonna go on a date with me. Oh yeah, I’m the big dog, I’m number one.” He pep talked himself as he walked up to her desk, but the lines didn’t meet at their desired ends, “Is there something you need, James?” She said those words so sweetly, he almost couldn’t breathe anymore when she looked at him. The words tickled at his lips but wouldn’t come. He ended up just shaking his head at her dumbfounded. “All right, well, you can go back to your seat then.” She said giving him a strange glare before she looked back down at her book. “Great”, James thought to himself, “I just blew it. She probably thinks I’m some crazy psycho coming up to her desk like that.” Chas turned towards him giving him a look that meant he didn’t need words to know what happened. “S—“ before he could get anything out, James replied, “Yeah”, hanging his head. “Better luck next time, Bro.” Chas said as he gave his friend a god pat on the shoulder and turned around to his work. “I guess I’ll think twice before I make a move on a teacher.” He thought as he put his head down on his desk and saw that someone had so ironically scrawled in the words, “She’s too hot.”


The author's comments:
I decided to go with something from a boy's point of view. I figure, though they may not use them most times, boys have minds too;)

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This article has 4 comments.


on Feb. 21 2011 at 9:27 am
Bonus_Weetee67 GOLD, Pelham, Alabama
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Gentlemen, we are going to chase perfection, knowing full well, we will not catch it."

"Hope is a waking dream."

"I'm not made of glass, you can't just clean off the bruises."

No, that is exactly what I wanted to happen, haha. My boyfriend thought it was disgusting, so kudos to you!;D

I'l really try to continue it with James:) Thanks for your feedback!  

 


on Feb. 21 2011 at 4:12 am
SongAway BRONZE, Burton-Upon-trent, Other
1 article 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I need to find me a quote"??

 I don't know if this was the desired effect but it really made me laugh. I really like it, the James character sounds so funny. The line at the end "she's too hot" is a really good move. You should totally go forth with James. 

Sorry the writing is so big, i don't know what happened.


on Feb. 19 2011 at 5:08 pm
Bonus_Weetee67 GOLD, Pelham, Alabama
12 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Gentlemen, we are going to chase perfection, knowing full well, we will not catch it."

"Hope is a waking dream."

"I'm not made of glass, you can't just clean off the bruises."

ah, the one about boy's and their minds? thanks;)

thank you! I wasn't so sure about it, but I'll definitely consider continuing, we'll just have to see I guess! :)

Thanks again!


on Feb. 19 2011 at 4:27 pm
Shrien PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
23 articles 7 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When one door closes, another one opens"

Love the quote:P

And the stories interesting,

you should deff. contine it(: