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Murdered for Love

Samia L., Bellingham, WA By poetic.eyes, Everson, WA

Dear Sister

My dear has died under a tree
with seventeen bottles of bear.
Before, every night,
he roamed through the streets
howling and knocking at doors.

He would be locked up as a mad man I suppose.
But Johnny did save him;
oh Johnny my love!

Oh-sister will I be swallowed for that?

Johnny’s been nice,
a dear to us all.
But why if he loves me
did he save Richy’s life
so many times?

Or maybe he did not do this at all,
but made Richy suffer
long and hard blows.
Gave him to drink
the bear that he brewed
to save his own money;

Oh sister what should I do?

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5 comment(s)
kinda choppy but good
Dec. 09, 2013 at 11:44 AM • Report
I really loved this! Keep up the good work! (I know its 2 years too late, but whatever!)
Sep. 02, 2013 at 4:57 PM • Report
I like the ideas behind this poem, but I felt extremely confused throughout. I think if it were a bit longer and more explanatory, it would make sense. You have the building blocks for a strong poem, though. Good job! :D
Jun. 15, 2013 at 8:49 PM • Report
Thank you very much for your suggestions! I wrote the two pieces you commented on quite a long time ago, and I think I'll rework them! Thanks again!
Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:43 PM • Report
Wow, thanks!!!
Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:44 PM • Report