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The Sacrificed This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

Jordan L., Ellicott City, MD By Writer_Jordan, Ellicott City, MD

The City of Centsia sat beside a range of mountains called the Barr, named for their tendency to barricade attacking armies. The city itself consisted of tall buildings, the kind of buildings where you could see the first few floors from the ground and the last from the stars. The material was glass: a greenish kind of glass that made each building twinkle beautifully in the moonlight.

There were two kinds of people in the City of Centsia: the winged and the walkers. The winged were the sacred people, worshipped by all, and the walkers suffered a superfluous amount of disadvantages in their wake. There were blood sacrifices every night, sacrifices made to the winged. Every winged needed a sacrifice, every night. Of course, the ones to be sacrificed were the accused, the people who had disrupted this perfect society with their crimes.

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8 comment(s)
i thought this was really good!
Feb. 27, 2014 at 10:27 AM • Report
most sacrafices are pure. they can not be tanted
Nov. 05, 2013 at 12:05 PM • Report
Whoa. This book is amazing! I love the way you included the details but kept them clean and consise, all leading up to the one moment where she is accused... Even in such a short passage I was drawn into the writing and the world they were in, from the beginning to the end. The final sentence made my heart wrench; I had connected with Emerald and created a pity for her fromt he article, a pity for the gruesome world she is in so segregated from one and the other. The end is so amazing, but sad! I love the article!
Sep. 11, 2013 at 5:08 PM • Report
The Sacrificed is signed with Entranced Publishing and will be released in Ebook format on June 24, 2013. It is now recognized by the U.S. Copyright Office.
Oct. 09, 2012 at 2:59 PM • Report
Wow! It's great to think that a published story started out simply as a story on TeenInk. Congratulations on your success! This story definitely was fantastic. :) I'm curious: how did you get your story to a publisher?
May. 13, 2013 at 7:10 PM • Report
After a second reading, I noticed you describe the city of Centsia from the perspective of a winged person. Your descriptions of the city are all positive, your descriptions of the walkers all negative, and then you justify the sacrifices quickly and matter of factly.  This creates a tension, as the reader immediately grasps the horror of the city and the speaker refuses to admit it. Emerald agrees with the speaker. I believe it makes all the more powerful to see her die, because she didn't see it coming but we did. In my mind, Emerald not only wants to be winged but also wants to experience the world like the winged do. Instead she remains wingless and must face the realities of the wingless.
Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:42 AM • Report
Well done. Very creative and well thought out
Jul. 11, 2013 at 1:44 AM • Report
Thanks everyone. The novel is out now. I sent my manuscript to a small publisher, and it was contracted and released on May 6th, 2013.
Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:14 PM • Report