Heart and mind both race at the thought,
Of each individual mental war being fought.
My brain; Seeming to be the only fitting battleground.
Each thought seeming to triumph, no clear victor after each round.
As each thought pushes against the other, my brain seems to swell,
Neither side seems to triumph, as my brain becomes my personal hell.
Conflicting individual thoughts slowly become envisioned,
Though my brain, 'tis still chained and imprisoned.
As I am slowly able to figure out and concentrate,
The thoughts themselves start to dissipate.
As I sit there in a splendid stupor, I begin to see.
"Was this supposed to happen? Some epiphany?"
As my mind begins to settle and cloud,
My thoughts seem to come to me aloud.
"What are you doing?" "Why are you doing this?"
"I don't know." "Was this a failure, a total miss?"
"Did I screw up, or did I fail?"
Why must I be so weak and frail?
As the thoughts spill out, I cannot help but cry,
Recollections of thoughts that make me want to die.
The one thing I yearn for in this moment, seems farther away.
No needed comfort, still can't find the words to say.
Thoughts still swirling, dragging me deeper inside.
Nothing to say, no one else in which to confide.
My thoughts are each my own, yet they own me as well,
Still making this brain into it's own private hell...

Part II

Tremors manifest as my mind starts to wander,
Slight convulsions, unnoticed by the naked eye.
In a state of desolation, my brain begins to ponder,
My concentration, unwavered, by a mere passerby.
Isolation, the one true cure to all my flaws.
when given this cure, it is cast aside,
For you, I abandon my desolation and pause,
Stopping only to make my mind abide.
As I stand in front of you, silent and scared,
I feebly attempt to materialize words and speak.
To be comprehendable, my mind need be bared;
Though my mind, it is still broken and weak.
Standing in front of you, my mind starts to decline,
Slowly breaking apart, my brain withers and then is dead.
The one thing I long for...You to be mine,
Seems to die along with my brain, in this warzone in my head....