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Dream-Caught Paper

Emily B., Woodbine, MD By EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time., Woodbine, MD

I could write you a thousand lovely things
On the soft whiteness in front of me.
Promises of eternity
Abound in empty paper.
They stare with bright black eyes,
Heads peaking around
The page's edge,
Watching me
As I
Dream.




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18 comment(s)
nmk1128
Really good visual with having the words "Heads peaking around" and "Watching me". I find it odd how you kind of deter from the begining of your poem to the end; you start off by romanticizing about the "lovely things" you could write, but then go on to describing the words - I assume - staring back at at you and "peaking around the page's edge" as you dream. The two things have no real link together in my mind, you know? I'm curious to your take on it.
Jan. 13, 2013 at 4:23 PM • Report
EPluribusUnum
Thanks for giving me so much feedback! :DDD This is the first (and only) time I wrote in this form, so it was a bit of an experiment to say the least. :) The link was meant to be the line "Promisses of eternity", which is both the things I could write and the "creatures" staring at me from around the corner. Though to be honest, I was mostly taking the phrases I could and running with them, which tends to create something as close to "pass or fail" poetry as you're gonna get. Me being all googly over my new relationship, this actually started out as a love poem for the person I was dating. I pulled a blank slate and decided to see where that took me.
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:09 PM • Report
BelieveMyStolenPromise
I love this poem. You have a really special way of describing that makes the message of your poem easy to understand. The use of syllables is very imaginative :)
Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:40 AM • Report
EPluribusUnum
Thank you :D
Jan. 15, 2013 at 10:03 PM • Report
MidnightSeeker
This is great. I really love the idea. :)
Dec. 15, 2012 at 3:04 PM • Report
EPluribusUnum
Thanksies!
Dec. 17, 2012 at 3:59 PM • Report
Sparkle1pops
I thought this poem was very interesting. I really like the thought that you put in to it. Some of your ideas were a little brief. I too love to play with formating. 
Dec. 14, 2012 at 7:50 PM • Report
EPluribusUnum
Thank you for the feedback :)
Dec. 17, 2012 at 3:58 PM • Report
Lithium96
I really liked this.  It's simple but something keeps me thinking about it.
Dec. 05, 2012 at 1:48 PM • Report
EPluribusUnum
Daww, thanks!
Dec. 06, 2012 at 6:09 PM • Report
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