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All that Remains This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By Cassidy S, boston, MA

Maybe it was stupid of me to think that I could get away with it and never look back. In reality it was no harder than acing a test: it just took preparation. It took time. Something I didn’t seem to have a whole lot of these days.

The first time he hit me, it didn’t feel like I expected. Or, at least, it wasn’t only pain. I felt things that are hard to describe. Like when someone dumps hot coffee on you, and all your emotions are so jumbled it becomes hard to pull them apart. The first thing that registers is the pain – the burning flesh that makes your skin crawl and your heart hammer and your body flail. The second thing that hits you is the shock. Why did he pour coffee on me? Why would he do that? Last is the anger. Sometimes it comes fast, a speeding bullet that practically skips the first two stages.

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19 comment(s)
theatregirl
that was good. you took the over use premises of domestic abuse and gave it a whole new life. your writing was descriptive- the analogy between the feeling of being hit and the feeling of being burned my cup of hot coffee was brilliant. The way you understate how main character burned their house down was so good it left with more shock that great.  THAT REALLY DESERVED A SEQUEL- IT COULD BE MADE INTO A WHOLE NOVEL. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, KEEP WRITING
Nov. 07, 2012 at 8:49 PM • Report
theatregirl
WOW! THAT WAS GOOD! You took the over sue topic of domestic abuse and gave it a new life. I love your metaphor  with the coffee and the hitting. the mention of burning of the house was so well understated a made a greater impacted. It was so realistic I had to keep scrolling to the top to make sure it was realistic fiction not personal experience. great job. PLEASE KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!
Nov. 07, 2012 at 8:43 PM • Report
Sonza
THATS SOME WRITING..............really i liked the way you wrote the whole thing keep on writing!!  
Nov. 06, 2012 at 12:57 PM • Report
a.e.always
wow, just amazing, and I especially love the ending. plus, your characters were origional,too. if you could, please check out my work.
Nov. 03, 2012 at 2:36 PM • Report
CammyS
Very clever! I love how you just causally mentioned the match at the very end. You are a really good writer!
Nov. 03, 2012 at 6:21 AM • Report
JoshuaChen
Another word of advice: In the second paragraph after the big Dot Dot Dot, I'd do something about that colon. It seemed to ruin the flow a bit. Although maybe that's just me.
Nov. 02, 2012 at 10:34 PM • Report
JoshuaChen
So many mistakes -_-. "Something I didn't seem to have a lot of these days." *those. Maybe this was a typo. "...it didn't feel like I expected" *I had expected And that's just the first few lines. I'm sorry, it's just hard to take this seriously when you clearly don't even understand basic tense. Teachers really need to focus on grammar more. And how did the editors not pick those errors up?
Nov. 02, 2012 at 10:23 PM • Report
JoshuaChen
Blegh, paragraphs don't work.
Nov. 02, 2012 at 10:24 PM • Report
JinxedLover
Just because it wasn't written to your standard doesn't mean you need to belittle it. I believed it was well written and would love to know more about what might happen to the girl, if she made it out of the fight alive or if he did kill her for sure. Very lovely story and deffinatly 5 star! :)
Nov. 04, 2012 at 3:38 PM • Report
JoshuaChen
My dearest apologies for being one of the few users kind enough to offer criticism on this site. From now on I'll limit my comments to "That was AMAZING" and "I love this!" and "omg i wish i culd be such good writer as u." Screw being constructive; criticizing is just a sneaky way to belittle others' works.
Nov. 04, 2012 at 6:03 PM • Report
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