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A Wizard's Life

By Akw370, Dover, AR

Beep beep beep beep beep went the alarm clock. Another day of school? Where did the weekend go? Where’s the snooze button? I thought as I felt for the alarm clock. Half asleep I watched the clock slam against the wall and shatter without being touched. I must be seeing things.

As I got up and walked to the closet to get my clothes, the closet opened by itself as if it knew what I wanted. First a shirt, then a pair of pants came towards me as they laid themselves on the bed. Okay what’s going on? “MOM!”

She said as she entered my room. “Yes Honey?”

I looked around “have you noticed anything weird lately?”

She looked around the room and notices the alarm clock on the floor. As a huge smile came on her face, she said “Your Powers came in!

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2 comment(s)
AthenaMarisaDeterminedbyFate
I think that this is good start, and if you're open to constructive criticism, then keep reading. If you're not then just stop here.   The story paced a little too fast, and everything seemed a little too normal. If I had discovered I was a wizard, then I would be a little more surprised, and I don't think that people would just suddenly accept 'oh, I'm a wizard, and my mom is a wizard, and my dad is mortal.' Just slow down the pace at the beginning; maybe introduce her birthday earlier; don't just jump to the climax. Also, try not to use words like then too much, and make your sentences a bit more complex. Try to subsitute ordinary words from everyday language with more interesting words. For example, you could replace the phrase huge smile with wide grin or a light step and an abnormally cheerful smile. Finally, I would advise you to check your grammer before you submit it, because I noticed some run-on sentences and other sentences that needed capitalization in the beginning, and a few fragments.    Keep writing, and wonderful start! 
Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:02 PM • Report
Akw370
Thank you for the advise. This piece was just an assignment for my creative writing class. I would have spent more time on editing it if I thought it was going to go anywhere. Thank you.
Dec. 02, 2012 at 3:11 PM • Report
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