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Rosencrantz Speaks This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By Karla R., Brooklyn, NY

      Hamlet, do me a favor and just sit still for a couple seconds. I guess you never learned your lesson at Wittenberg. I mean they always made you sit in the corner and wear that dunce hat for fidgeting. Sorry, I always forget that you are sensitive about that.

Anyway, Hammy, I need to talk to you. Don’t make that face, I need you to listen for once. I’m supposed to make sure you don’t go jump off a cliff, but how come no one follows me to check up on me? Right, because I’m not a psychopath who talks to himself in the corners of an enormous castle. I don’t understand you; you are the prince of Denmark, and you act like the son of the maid.

Do you want to know something else, Hamstring? You never do anything decisively. You need to think about every possibility a million times over before making a move.

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18 comment(s)
I worship before you, o mighty Shakespeare nerd. This is hilarious, well-written and shows that you know your stuff. Nice punny Hamlet nicknames too
Jun. 13, 2017 at 6:09 PM • Report
This is really good and a really good overall idea
Feb. 23, 2017 at 6:40 AM • Report
I really love this piece!
Mar. 30, 2016 at 8:46 AM • Report
I love Guildenstern's persona! Great job on this -- keep it up!
Jan. 02, 2016 at 7:39 PM • Report
Sorry, I meant Rosencrantz! :)
Jan. 03, 2016 at 11:00 AM • Report
I read this without reading Hamlet... It is really scary XD
Apr. 13, 2015 at 6:05 PM • Report
This is so very funny! We're reading Hamlet in school right now and I'm very amuse, I might share this with my English teacher. I love how you use different nicknames for Hamlet. And I can see how other people may see Hamlet in different way because of things he hiself can see and others cannot, which results in his actions. But that would added more to the theme of appearance vs. reality, right?
Feb. 06, 2015 at 9:08 AM • Report
Oh my god thanky uo so much for writing this...I can't even...rofl XD!!!!
Jul. 01, 2014 at 1:35 PM • Report
Hamlet is my favorite play, and when I first saw this, I was all, "Oh no they didn't go messing with my Hamlet!" then I read it and died laughing. You did him good, my friend. You did him good...
Dec. 14, 2013 at 11:56 AM • Report
This is funny. I have never read Hamlet but, I know the concept and I think this is a really good historical fiction piece.
Nov. 26, 2013 at 5:42 PM • Report