I tucked my legs into my chest and hid myself in a corner of a vacant building. I didn’t know why I felt so scared. The window in the dark room was only slightly open, but it was enough to make my hair fly. For once in my life, I could experience silence. There was no fighting, there was no noise and there was no him.
I tried to relax but my body remained tensed. I started to feel as if I was losing control of myself. I shut my eyes and went into deep thought. He had once loved me. Hadn’t he? The curtains swished from side to side, almost like they wanted to symbolise our rocky relationship.
“I love you,” he had whispered that very day. I had felt excruciating pain momentarily. For so many months I had tried to deny him, I had tried to think that he would never love me, but those words had put everything in place. Everything we did together seemed like a pretty picture.
Countless of times I had felt jealousy, rage. He had said I was his and he was mine. He would grasp my hand ever so gently and remind me of how much he loved me. He told me how special I was and how lucky he was to find someone like me.
Then why had he left me alone? I felt like a used piece of paper. He wrote all over me and threw me away. I had heard that relationships sometimes didn’t work out, but I never knew how hard someone fell after the heart-break. It was like I had received a slap on the face; a real hard one.
I had not only lost my love, but I had lost a dear friend as well.
I had lost everything and everyone just to gain a man who would eventually lose me. I placed my palm on my temple and soon enough, I realized I had entangled my hair in between the slits of my fingers. A single teardrop fell from my eye. I hadn’t noticed for a few seconds, but now there were a fleet of tears flowing down my rosy cheeks.
I heard nothing but my whimpers. After I had gained control of myself, it was dead silent. The window had shut, the curtains weren’t swinging and the rain had stopped pouring. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t even feel that gush of wind.
I felt so alone but I would have to suffer through the loneliness. But it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want to feel pain. I wanted him to take me in his arms, twirl me around and say,
“Give me all your sorrow and I’ll replace it with my joy.” But he never entered through the blocky wood door as I expected him to. He didn’t glide down the side of the building and wrap me in a hug. Instead, I sat there knowing that he wouldn’t come back for me.
And even though the sound of silence had set in, I knew there was a storm coming.