Always. Always. Always.
Why does it still hurt?
Shouldn’t it go away?
It’s so easy to get tired of reaching out, and of being the ONLY ONE to do the reaching. Why do I care more? Always. Always. Always.
It isn’t fair. Is there something wrong with me? Something vitally flawed? Broken? Unfixable?
It’s not like I need them to care. I don’t need that like a need food, water, air. Then why am I starving, dehydrating, suffocating? And why do I still care so much? More. More then they ever will. Always. Always. Always. I just want it to stop. It isn’t fair.
I get excited when they do anything. Even a small thing. A meaningless thing. Something I should know, should KNOW is not important and will not last and will only hurt me twice as much later.
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