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905-WORLD

Valerie L., Oakville, Canada By Rolledthestone, Nowhere, Canada

If you called the world on a telephone,
would anyone pick up when your name on Caller ID was shown?
Or would they let it go to their answering machine,
thinking your message was a prank from a rowdy teen?
And if the world called you on your cell,
would you listen to what it had to tell?
Or would you let it ring for hours on end,
what it has to say does not affect me you’d pretend.
But whether you’d hang up is not the point I’m trying to make,
I wanted to inform you of what’s at stake,
when you turn your back on the world as it calls for you,
and put off responding for I can tell you what will ensue.
Come the day you need the world to receive your speech,
no one will show up and hear what you have to preach.
The lesson will be lost,
who knows at what cost,
and all you have to do to make sure this doesn’t occur,
is interrupt your ringtone and answer her.




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18 comment(s)
LexusMarie
Hey there! I think that you did a wonderful job with this. I really enjoyed every aspect of this. The concept is really interesting. The rhymes are really good, they flow very well. Everything came together very well. I love the message that you get across! You're a very talented writer and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:57 PM • Report
GraphicWriter
Incredible. Pulling. And when I say that, I mean it pulls you to Act, to do something, and pick up that 'phone.'
Jun. 25, 2013 at 6:43 PM • Report
kikixkupkake
Fantastic! I love your rhyme scheme. It's very simple but effective, and your message is magnificent. 5/5! I l really enjoy the symbolism of a telephone, something so commonly used, but something so commonly abused. I also appreciate the way you accommodated today's use of Called ID to discriminate against and avoid others. Best of all, I absolutely enjoyed the twist at the end. This girl prevails something much more important, sharing the message that the speaker has feelings and just wants her audience to listen. Overall, this poem is an absolute joy to read. Thank you for posting it (:
May. 06, 2013 at 9:23 PM • Report
SongBird04
You are a very talented writer, I'm enjoying reading your poetry! Keep it up. :) 
May. 05, 2013 at 9:41 PM • Report
TheEpic95
Hmm..... creative. I know you were talking about the world, about speaking out and listening, but  the last part "Listen to her" made it sound like you had a double meaning. Like there was a girl who WAS the world for the speaker. Is that any part of what you meant....?
Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:00 PM • Report
Rolledthestone
You...could interpret it that way.
Mar. 30, 2013 at 7:21 PM • Report
Mckay
I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I tend to think limmericks are cheesey. But this is not. It has a great message that everyone should heed.
Mar. 29, 2013 at 4:24 PM • Report
Rolledthestone
I know what you mean, that's why I love and hate limericks because they're hard but beautiful when done right. Some just sound awful because people get desperate for a good rhyme that it disrupts the poem.
Mar. 30, 2013 at 7:18 PM • Report
honoraryhobbit
I like this piece. It has a good message, and the telephone metaphor was a nice, creative choice. This isn't like most limericks I've come to know, but the rhyming and bright rhythm the piece has does bring the limerick to mind. I love how you addressed such a serious issue with a light, melodic kind of verse. Nice job. :)  
Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:59 AM • Report
AmyLeigh
As someone else already said, I'm not quite sure this is truly in the style of a limerick, but it still reads really well, so that's not a big issue. I really liked this, especially the title, which first captured my attention. I love the concept as well, really creative! :)
Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:10 PM • Report
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