there it is the straw that theoretically broke the camels back. the saying that there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning gives me no comfort but reassurance i have yet to waken. So here i am the pills are are the only thing saving saving me. I like the numb it fills me and i don't have to think for a while. my days are camouflage with an ever so optimistic charm.
i don't under stand how easily ice can run through there veins. Cold blooded they cant feel my pain. at this point I'm not evan living, my life feels robotic the only thing that keeps me going is this sweet sweet narcotic. I don't allow my self to love because i don't wont to be judged. So for now every morning i get up and paint on a smile i cry in the shower then I'm okay for a while.