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Dreams This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This work has won the Teen Ink contest in its category.

By Katryna S., San Pablo, CA

     I feel his hand on my shoulder. It is cold, bony, and scrapes against my skin. It doesn’t sting too badly. Pain doesn’t cause discomfort for me - it’s like a Popsicle - strong at first, but after awhile, it melts away. He tells me something, the man behind me. I don’t hear him at first, and that makes him angry. He grips my shoulder tighter.

Now there is pain, pain like grabbing a wire hanger that is left beside a fire, yet I ignore it. He knows I am here, I know I am here, but for some reason, I feel if I don’t acknowledge it. If I ignore what is happening, we will both remain suspended. The two of us will stay lost in this never-ending scene, and I will never die.

The knife enters me anyway.

I feel it; I’m not quite numb yet.

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32 comment(s)
NatalieMcG
That is really good!
Apr. 02, 2015 at 2:33 PM • Report
The_Edge
Well done! You did a good job of making the readers feel sympathy for the main character. :D
Jan. 04, 2015 at 5:00 PM • Report
Made_Of_Greed
I found myself cpativated beyond belief. This is both sinister and thrilling at the same time, and how he gets hit by a truck in the end. It pratically says BAM! Good job.
Nov. 21, 2014 at 9:37 AM • Report
ShannonC17
WOW... is all i can say. I actually don't read too much, just trying to get some in before my Leaving Cert, but I read that I'd say about 12 times.. Seriously that was dark, captivating and you just get sucked in and lost in his thoughts too.. Well done and sriously WOW
May. 29, 2014 at 9:11 AM • Report
DramaLlama96
I had to read it a couple times to really *get* it. That's a good thing, you know. Not everything should come easy. Not my usual genre, but GREAT writing and style.  One note of critism: I, too, imagined the main character as a girl. Perhaps change some pronouns around?
Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:50 PM • Report
Ecila
I don't think it's the pronouns. I think it's the accompanying picture that gives this impression. We subconciously think of it as a representation of the man character.
Apr. 26, 2014 at 8:49 PM • Report
Firelight23
Nice job! I liked it a lot; it pulled me in.
Dec. 26, 2013 at 12:13 PM • Report
MarkJallayu
I couldn't resist this article. I just kept going back and back reading it. You're such an amazing writer. 
Dec. 04, 2013 at 7:48 PM • Report
Outcast4God
One word: heartbreaking. Not in a bad way, in a really REALLY good way. It really portrays the emotions well and draws you in. You should really consider writing a book!
Nov. 12, 2013 at 4:54 PM • Report
hippiehopper
Yes heartbreaking in a good way! Good way to put it, I cried a little at the end. I think you can really feel the pain and emotion in this story and that's my favorite thing about reading!
Apr. 02, 2015 at 7:17 PM • Report
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