Deadly Towers | Teen Ink

Deadly Towers

October 15, 2014
By AngusArkansas SILVER, New Port, Delaware
AngusArkansas SILVER, New Port, Delaware
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.


 Deadly Towers is an action role-playing game for the Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES).  In it, the player must traverse the castle of the evil Rubas to burn 7 bell towers and save the kingdom.  It is noted for being one of the first role-playing games released for the NES in North America, and was the best selling game of 1987.  Retrospective reviews of the game have soured, however, and hopefully I can explain why.  First, the graphics.
On first glance, the graphics of the game look fairly decent, considering when it was released, but many problems pop up on second glance.  Many of the areas are colored with the most eye-blazing shades possible, usually of very bright colors.  In addition, the health counter is written in white numbers, meaning that it is more often than not impossible to see in the sea of garish colors that make up the game's color palette.  As if that wasn't bad enough, killing a boss or burning a bell results in the game flashing a rainbow of colors for several seconds.  This is very stressful on the eyes, and such a strobing effect could very easily cause epileptic seizures.  Moreover, the music for the game is absolutely abysmal, many rooms play the exact same track, and it annoyingly loops every time you enter a different room.


If the game had good gameplay to make up for those faults, it could possibly be forgiven.  However, there is a host of very good reasons why Joystiq would say that it is "[possibly] the most frustrating game ever."  Like how, rather than swinging the sword that you use, you instead elect to throw it.  It flies very slowly, yet you can't attack again until it completely passes off the screen or hits an enemy.  In addition, the initial armor your character wears (or lack thereof, despite what his character sprite may make you assume) does very little to stop damage.  Many enemies at the beginning of the game can kill you in just a few hits.  Worst of all is that whenever you get hit, you're knocked back several feet.  This can easily lead to you falling off a ledge, an instant kill.  If you do die, then, as with many platforming games at the time, you're given a code to continue, but, rather than put you back where you were, every code sends you back to the first screen of the game.


All this may sound bad, but without knowing about the dungeons, you don't even know half of it.  There are many dungeons sprinkled throughout the early game, where you can explore and collect better equipment.  This may sound like a good thing, the problems lie in the fact that the entrances are invisible.  Without knowing where the entryways into the dungeons are, you can very easily stumble into them when you don't want to.  The exits to the dungeons are, at least, somewhat signposted, although there is no graphical difference between the entrances to the shops in the dungeons, and the exits.  Additionally, each of the 10 dungeons has around 100 rooms, many of which have the exact same layout as other rooms from earlier in the dungeon.  As you can imagine, this can get very disorienting very fast.  Adding to the disorientation is the fact that the exits to the dungeon put you in a completely different area than the entrances.  Once you actually start exploring the titular "Deadly Towers," though, the hidden dungeons are replaced with "Secret Rooms" and "Parallel Zones," many of which contain the best items in the game.  These are, of course, filled with unfair amounts of enemies that deal an insane amount of damage; have invisible entryways; and are gone, along with the tower, once the boss is defeated.  This means that you can very easily miss vital equipment and be unable to complete the game.  With all the best equipment, however, the game becomes laughably easy.  Most enemies die in one or two hits, the bosses included, and can deal only tiny amounts of damage to your health.


From all of the things I've written in this review, my personal opinion of the game is probably very clear.  If it wasn't, then I'll just say it: this is the worst game ever, in my opinion.  With that in mind you're probably wondering why I bothered to review it.  The answer is simple: exposure.  Many of the worst games of all time, like E.T. and Drake of the 99 Dragons, have been torn to shreds all over the internet.  When asked about the worst games ever, though, very few people will mention Deadly Towers, and that is a shame.  A game like this deserves far more exposure than it has gotten.  If 100 people that had previously never heard of this game read this review, then that's 100 more people who know about it.  Maybe I've piqued their curiosity, and they will now go and look it up, formulating and spreading their own opinions.  So, dear reader, I must say that, if you are ever in that very specific discussion about "the worst games of all time," I ask you to mention this misguided game, even if it is just in passing.


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