Xaedas,
I remember
when you suggested we should paint the room
and we got more paint on ourselves
than the walls.

Xaedas,
I remember
when you always teased me
on how grumpy I always looked,
and I would retort something about your obnoxious height.

Xaedas,
I remember
you told me that
I could tell my feelings to you,
rather than bottling them up.

Xaedas,
I remember
I only nodded and looked away
because I couldn’t say “I love you,”
to my only best friend.

Xaedas,
I remember when you always quoted poets
and there was one that always stuck:
“Till human voices wake us,
and we drown.”

Xaedas,
I remembered all of this while standing at your grave.
Why were you down there alone, in the cold earth?
When you did so much, saved so many
When you saved me

Xaedas,
I remember
that quote you told me and I felt it
because I woke up
and no one remembered you except me.

Xaedas,
I remember
they told me it was all in my head,
but it felt so real.
And that they didn’t know a tall boy named “Xae”.

Xaedas,
I remember
that once I questioned it all.
I questioned our relationship
and if you were real or not.

Xaedas,
I remember asking,
“Was it all really just a dream?”
But no-- I was sitting at your grave
How could no one remember such a wonderful person?

Xaedas,
I still remember
that quote:
“Till humans wake us,
and we drown.”

Xaedas,
I remember asking,
“What if that little voice in my head belongs to you?”
The voice gave me all of these memories of you.
The voice no one remembers.

Xaedas,
The human voices --
the world, reality
woke me from my dreams.
But even though reality is a lovely place,
I wouldn’t want to live there without you.