The air was thick against my perspiring body. Handprints smudged against the mirror enclosing the humid room. The paint peeling off the wall where it distracted me from my own closure. The room was crowded dancer upon dancer. The whispers played against my ears as I warm up before the new teacher came. We’ve met before, but dancer to teacher is a different story. Three days in this dance intensive, but nerves were still raising higher and higher. Nervous laughs escape my mellow body, where the feeling sinks in. The loud noise ceases when a plump man walks through the clouded room. This feeling was new and something about it boosted anxiety. Everyone swarmed to the front where they belong. My hooded figure stayed in the back settling the explosion in my stomach. The man’s body waddled to the front. His taut body plopped down into the rigid chair. His chubby hands gripped against a cracked binder to begin roll call. Soupy syllables slide off his tongue gliding from name to name.

“At least we don’t have tap,” my lungs sighed while a throb pained against my skull.

“Okay, Contemporary queen.” Maria rolled her eyes and laughed while her nose crinkled. Flushed with laughter, we were pulled out of our escape by the southern twang singing my name out.

“Janeillllllll.” he sung causing my hand to loosely raise enough for his vision. He proceeded with roll call and rose up to the front once again. Soon enough, he sprung out with exaggerated and abstract movements. His voice boomed over the sound of drums, that filled my mind sealing the movements together. My conscious ran over detail by detail, as my head scrambled mixed with the small disruption in my stomach. The favorites up front, always boasting about their technical advancements, putting a distaste in my dry mouth. Sectioning off into groups, the combo haunted my mind. I stared, slumped while they danced. My arms wrapped around my body as they just push right through the motions.

“Rotate!” his voice boomed over the beats, laced with a thick southern accent. My group stepped out on to the floor, my body casted upstage. Hidden behind the insecurity of failure. The combo started as my legs moved rapidly while my body lost itself inside the flowing fluid music. Words connected my movements, cooling the burning fire that inflamed my stomach. The action felt like rippled tides taking me swimming as I flow with the beat. My chest tightened as I sprung up with excitement, accents lingered softening within the next action. Lengthening the ending fragment, trying to bottle this moment. Finally finished, I returned safe to my cement walls guarding me from the chaos around me. Maria perpetrated my safety, praising me for just doing what I love. I tucked a random fly away behind my ear as I thanked her.

“You did so good Jay Neil.” Maria mocked the diction of  Mr. Bill while slugging her matured body on the dance floor. The fourth group, the last round as Mr. Bill called out the lavish  to the floor. Skeletons stalked towards the mirror never losing their own eye contact. They always shove, push, and fight to be the best, but in that moment, it was a different story. My eyes dart around desiring to look the way they do. Exposed ribs with stick legs oscillated around the dense floor. I gazed down to lay my eyes upon my thighs making me squirm in disgust. They finished their perfected style, and walked off huffing with a boastful weeze.

“Quick water break,” his voice rose throughout the blurred room. Rushed out of the room, we all scattered to our waiting room. Soothing our dry throats with the consumption of liquids. Soon enough we scurried back into the fogged room, anticipating our fate.

“Everyone out on the flouor.” he shuffled to the front of the room as everyone watched him. My eyes searched to find the farthest spot away from the front. His arms moved with the silent hum of five, six, seven, eight coming from him. Continuing, he finished the combo, the eruption in my stomach was cooled by my dancing. I closed my eyes while my mind went over the fresh start, reassuring I knew this well enough. He once again started to sway towards the speaker, but suddenly he stopped in his journey. His face was blank as he met eyes with mine. Seeing right through me. He pointed his chubby finger towards the front row.

“I want you here from now on.” I turned back to Maria, causing her to reassure me with a slight smile. My stomach fell through my body as I took my first stride forward. I bowed my head down, my knees wobbled which felt endless, in the few leaps it took to get there.

“There ain't nothing wrong with being curvy sugar, own it. I know what you are, but do you? I know you’re strong, I know you’re talented, so show it Suzy-Q.” I nodded and showcased a weak smile. All eyes were focused on me. I felt there pupils burn through my heaving back. I tuck a fly away behind my ear with a fidgety hand. Hitching breaths mixed with the welling of my eyes distracted me from my zone. My cheeks deepened with scarlette, increasing the silence in the room. However the fresh beat of the drum removes me from the atmosphere around me. Once again I lose myself and it’s never felt better.