In everyone’s life there are times that will change a person forever. I have had many of these times like every other person, but in these past few months I experienced times that changed the way I thought over the past 17 years. It was a very hard and emotional time for me but the outcome it changed me into a better person.
Within these last few months, I have been going to see a therapist after getting diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Life before going to talk to someone was very difficult. Living with depression and anxiety for me was like being sad all the time, but not wanting to attempt to be happy. Everyday I would feel lonely, but too scared to go out and socialize. Everyday I would ask myself the same questions over and over again, “why are you so lonely?”, “why do you never go out anywhere?”, etc.

  I remember the day that I told my mom that I needed help like it was just the other day, even though it was on a night in July which was almost three months ago. For as long as I could remember I always felt like an outcast and like I did not fit in. Everyday I would wake up in the morning and dread going to school and face everyone, including the people I called my friends. I found myself pushing people away and locking myself in my room just isolating myself from the outside world. More and more I would have times where I would breakdown uncontrollably. I talked to close friends about everything which only worked for so long, and when that stopped working, I realized I needed to talk to my mom about everything going on.

One night back in July I was having an off night, which was beginning to happen too often, and finally I went and talked to my mom. I explained to her everything that was going on, which was one of the hardest things to do for the both of us. After that night she called a recommended therapist and made me an appointment.  I will admit the whole thought of going and talking to someone made me uncomfortable and think more poorly of myself, but I was wrong in so many ways.

Even after my first few sessions I started changing the way I was acting, thinking, and reacting to things. Instead of bottling everything up I was taught how to react to things separately rather than all at once. Not only was therapy helping me react to things in a positive way, it taught me how to change my perspective on life and myself. It showed me that not everything bad was the end of the world and that with every negative comes a positive. Today instead of thinking that I am an outcast I like to tell myself that everyone is an outcast because every single person on this Earth is different in their own ways.

Many people do not understand this disease which is always the hardest thing and which makes it hard for a lot of people to go for help. This happens to be one of the reasons I kept pushing it off wanting to ask for help for so long. I thought that people would find out and make fun of me even though this is something I can not control. I thought that my friends would find out and get scared and not want to talk to me anymore. However, I now accept the fact that I have this disease, and yes I still have my down days but I am able to cope with them way better. I take the negatives that make my depression and anxiety stick out and push them away.

Therapy was one of the best things that have ever happened to me because it made me the person I am today, right now. It showed me that many people go through exactly what I am even if it is in their own way. I will never be completely better because sadly this is a disease, and yes depression and anxiety are known as diseases, that sadly can not be cured.