I was forced to grow up at a young age. I was barely 5 years old when my lifelong fear began. My dad divorced my mom when I was just two years old and remarried to a monster. This woman put on a good hiding face. At first I had high hopes that she would treat me like one of her own kids. I was hoping we would be just another ordinary family like the ones in the movies I watched with my mom when I would visit her. That was the complete opposite of what I dreamed of. This was no Hallmark card life. This was hell at a young age.

It began with the wanting. A year into this marriage, my dad swore he loved this woman and that he would treat her like the queen he believed she was but she always wanted more. Nothing was good enough for her. My dad was trying his hardest to please her but nothing appeased her wants. She became addicted to cigarettes and caffeine. She would smoke a pack or two a day and down an entire 12 pack of pepsi by herself. Over the span of 4 months, she became violent when she didn’t get what she wanted from my dad. Glass would shatter against the wall inches from my head, the voices would raise to earsplitting volumes, taunts and blame would be thrown at me like this was all my fault, a 6 year old child... the cause of a failing marriage. I took the blame. A mind so young would fall for anything if told enough. I believed it was my fault that I was beat or screamed at or had to deal with the verbal taunts. I took it all to heart and believed every single word of it…

I dealt with agony of the beatings from this woman for the next 6 years of my life. Every day was pain and fear. I felt alone and was abused day in and day out by that stepmother. My dad had no idea since she was such a good liar and passed the bruises and pain off as simply “playing rough with the dog.” while taking advantage of my dad’s long and exhausting work hours to land more hits on me. He believed it all simply because he loved her and believed in “Happy wife, happy life.” That was never the case.

I reached out to my mom who understood and saw first hand the marks and my fear when the time came every other week to go back to my dad’s house. She saw how painful it was for me to move some days because the pain was too great. She saw the fear in my eyes when I was returned to my father and his monster of a wife. She knew what was happening.

After my dad had enough of the arguing and the downhill fall of his marriage as well as the pleads from my mother to listen to me about the truth of his wife, he finally called it quits. She disappeared after wrecking my dad’s as well as my childhood home and left with all of his stuff. She was gone physically but my pain and trauma was stuck to my back like superglue. I was stuck with this for my whole life.

I became quiet and secluded from the other kids I went to school with. I wanted nothing to do with the fun activities like it did as a young child before all of the abuse. I just wanted to be alone because I didn’t want anything that happened to end up my fault as well. I was already dealing with my dad running away after the nasty divorce and foreclosure of his childhood home all mixed with the grief and fear that that woman who everyone claimed was gone now would soon come back and finish what she started. I lost weight because of the fear of eating after she would beat me for eating after she starved me numerous times. I was afraid to be alone and constantly needed a companion to take me places. Loud sounds reminded me of the objects thrown at my head or just past my head and became petrified by any sort of yelling I heard. So many things reminded me of the pain I endured and the nightmare I was now living. I couldn’t do anything now other than just ride the aftershock through life.

Years later, I’ve become a sophomore seeking therapy for PTSD and now getting better. I’m learning to cope and battle my fears I suffer daily and the anxiety I suffer. I’m getting better and learning that what happened was never my fault and that she took her anger and frustration out on me. No it will never be right to take your emotions out on a child and consequences do follow. I learned that karma is a real biter and that it is working its magic on that monster. She had since remarried 3 times and each husband has died in a matter of two years. I learned that she has now disappeared out of the country and no one knows where she went.

I had a very rough start in life that no child should ever have to go through. I felt the worst pain a child could bare and despite all odds, I lived. I was stuck for a good while and dealt with fear, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and self guilt but I stuck it out because I had people around me to help me.

I look back now and can’t help but smile even though I started my life bad. I smile because I am still alive and I have so many friends and a loving family who helped me through it all. I seeked help when I was ready to open up about what happened after so many years of bottling it away and I became better. Now here I am! I’m on my way through high school and on my way to the fire academy!

Things do get better. Sure life may feel hard now but I promise it will get better. You just need to keep your head high and keep going. Believe in yourself and you can do it. Bad things don’t last forever I promise. It may be bad now but things do get better. I’ve experienced it first hand at a young age. My family believed in me and I got through it. You can do it too.

 This is a true story. I do authorize this to be read to the class if you wish.