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Mellow Out    (Continued)

Page 2 of 12

I'd rather eat a napkin.

I pushed the slush away and slumped back in my folding chair. Maybe she won't show up. I felt like I'd been caught online shopping with my father's credit card – again. Nerves and guilt, discomfort and sweat. My black clothes were absorbing enough sun to drown a polar bear. Mellow Out needed to invest in some blinds, or at least a ceiling fan, because according to the weather app on my clever little cell, it was 98 degrees outside. I did not pay three hundred bucks for a plane ticket to purgatory. Neither did Tommy. I wondered if anyone would notice I'd spiked my orange juice this morning.

A red-faced man in probably a once-white tee shirt was waving at me. No, actually at a kid who just walked in. The man stood up, baring his belly, and pulled the scrawny little kid into a fatal embrace.

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8 comment(s)
This is amazing. Very well written. I love the emotion portrayed throughout the entire peice. This story most definitely deserved to have spot in the monthly print. AWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOME job. ;)
Jul. 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM • Report
Honestly... I'm a little jealous ;) Nice work.
Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:43 AM • Report
I love the way the story unfolds, instead of jamming everything into the first three paragraphs.
Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:17 PM • Report
I think this is the best story I've seen on Teen Ink. Amazing. Good job.
Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:09 PM • Report
I have to say, it was a bit confusing at first, but at the end, you brought it out the in a very nice way. Well done!
Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:08 PM • Report
Speechless... then sputtering and then finally WOW !!!!!!!!! incredible ! from the flow of writing to vocabulary and message were prefectly clear Keep writing !
Apr. 13, 2013 at 10:53 AM • Report
I can't even describe how much I liked this. Amazing. Just amazing work.
Apr. 06, 2013 at 4:11 PM • Report
That was brilliant! I loved the writing style, the story was amazing and the message was clearly emphasized :)
Apr. 01, 2013 at 8:55 PM • Report