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The Protector

By FlameSeeker373, Richmond, TX

Sent
“Well here we are,” my aunt Eva says.

I look up to stare at my new house and was amazed. It was three stories tall with ivy encasing its walls. Rose bushes slightly hid the high, arching windows, while a large rooster weather vane spun in the light breeze. Beautiful trees, just transitioning from Spring to Fall, littered the surrounding land. If I wasn’t dreading the prospect of living here, I might have thought the place was pretty. Trying to be nice to my aunt, I put on a big smile and slouched into the house.


After a long dinner and a tour of the house I was ushered into my ne room by my aunt. Sluggish from an over-full stomach, and nervous of about a first day at school, I really didn’t pay attention to the room.

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1 comment(s)
Apollo77
Um...its interesting, and writen well...but i dont understand why this noah would just give up hiding. "oh you came somewhat close to my hiding spot, you got me!" but that's just me. I think it moves too quickly and you realy must explain farther than "the gods sent me" that cliff hanger is too ubrupt. Dont get me wrong, i love a good cliff hanger. They are suppose to leave a reader thinking and keep a reader on the verge of tears while ripping their hair out over what happens next. Yours is interesting, but a) its so short that i dont realy particularly care about the character b) you don't give me anything to pull my hair out over. Sweet, there are gods sending a dude. What's new. Anyway, good writing. :)
Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:14 PM • Report
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